So my ex walked out six months ago after this huge fight about trust issues. Felt like my world ended honestly. Spent weeks just moping around eating ice cream straight from the tub. Then I stumbled on this relationship expert advice about winning your person back. Figured screw it, nothing left to lose.
The Realization Phase
First thing I did was totally ghost them for 30 days straight. No texts, no drunken calls, nada. Hurt like hell but the experts swear by this “no contact rule” to reset emotions. Deleted all social media apps too – kept catching myself stalking their profiles at 3AM. Biggest win? Started hitting the gym instead of my phone.
The Self-Improvement Grind
Used that silence period to work on my own crap. Seriously followed these steps:
- Went to therapy every Tuesday to unpack my trust baggage
- Actually finished that online photography course collecting dust
- Volunteered at the animal shelter walking dogs
- Stopped posting sad quotes and learned cooking on Insta
Didn’t even tell mutual friends about my glow-up. Let the work speak for itself.
The Strategic Reconnect
After the 30-day freeze, I “accidentally” ran into them at our old coffee spot. Wore the shirt they always complimented and casually ordered our usual drink. Kept it light – just smiled and said “Hey stranger”. Key move? Left after 10 minutes citing yoga class before they could respond deeply.
Sent a simple text two days later: “Saw this band poster and remembered our concert trip to Austin. Hope you’re killing it!” No pressure, no expectations. Experts call this “positive association triggering”.
The Slow Burn
When they replied, I mirrored their energy. Short answers with breathing room between texts. Waited three days before suggesting coffee as “friends”. On the date, I:
- Listened more than talked (major shift for me)
- Casually mentioned hiking with shelter dogs (showing growth)
- Never brought up past drama once
Game changer? Ended first meeting with “Really nice catching up” instead of begging for another date.
The Turnaround
Took eight weeks of these chill hangouts. They started reaching out first to tell me work stuff. Last Tuesday they showed up at my door crying – said seeing my new calm confidence made them regret leaving. We’re taking it super slow now with counseling. Still rocky, but expert tip #1 rings true: you can’t rebuild until you fix your own foundation first.
