Alright guys, today’s experiment was… uh… something else. Figured I’d document this properly since some folks keep asking. Look, I’m no pro at this, just trying things out step by step based on what I read online.
My First Attempt Was Trash
Grabbed my phone, went into the bathroom ’cause that’s where I got privacy, right? Pulled down everything, held my junk at what I thought was a “good angle”. Big mistake. Took about ten shots. Ended up with:
- A blurry thumb covering half the shot
- Weird shadows making everything look purple
- Trash can edge sneaking into the bottom
- My tired-looking face reflected in the mirror behind me
Looked absolutely cursed. Deleted everything immediately. Felt like an idiot standing there naked trying different grips while the phone kept slipping.
What The “Experts” Actually Said
Felt kinda defeated, so I sat down (clothed this time) and actually read proper advice instead of just skimming titles. Here’s what stuck:
- Lighting is KING: Need soft light coming from the front or side. Harsh overhead light? Bad news.
- Backgrounds matter: Your messy bedroom? Looks awful. Clean neutral sheets or a wall work best.
- Hold it steady: Use both hands or prop your phone up. Shaking = blurry disaster.
- Angles aren’t porn: Straight-on sucks. Think from the side or slightly above.
- Groom yourself first: Self-explanatory. Unkempt looks… unappealing.
Take Two: Still Not Perfect But Better
Armed with that, I tried again later. Made my bed with clean dark sheets. Closed the blinds and used a lamp beside the bed for softer light. Propped my phone on books so it wouldn’t shake. Cleaned up properly beforehand.
Took about twenty shots this time. Focused purely on “down there” without my face showing. Tried the over-the-stomach angle, some from the side. Key moves:
- Paid serious attention to where shadows fell
- Kept adjusting the lamp position slightly
- Used the timer to avoid touching the shaky phone
- Made damn sure the background was JUST the sheet
Results? Way less embarrassing. Got a few shots where things actually looked decent – defined shape, no weird shadows, clean background. Lighting made a HUGE difference. Still feels awkward taking pictures of your junk tho, let’s be honest. The best shot just showed my stomach and the thing itself, nothing more. Looks… acceptable? Definitely not “professional quality” yet, but not cursed either. Might take more practice to feel natural.
