Alright, so I’ve been thinking a lot about how to be a better spouse lately. It’s not like things are bad, but you know, there’s always room for improvement, right? So, I decided to make it a real project, like I do with things at work, and track my progress.
Starting Point
First, I grabbed a notebook and jotted down everything I thought I could do better. Just a big brain dump. Things like “listen more,” “be more patient,” “help out more around the house” – you know, the usual stuff. It wasn’t pretty, but it was a start.
The Experiment Begins
Next, I picked three things from my list that seemed the most doable and impactful. I decided to focus on being kinder, being more present when we’re together, and putting away my damn phone. I figured these were low-hanging fruit, things I could realistically change without, like, totally overhauling my personality overnight.
- Kindness: This one was about being more mindful of my words and actions. You know how sometimes you snap at someone just because you’re in a bad mood? Yeah, I tried to cut that out. I started saying “please” and “thank you” more, even for little things. And I tried to think before I spoke, especially when I was feeling frustrated.
- Being Present: This was tougher. It meant really listening when my partner was talking, not just nodding along while thinking about work or what I wanted for dinner. I actually tried to put myself in their shoes and understand where they were coming from. It was surprisingly hard at first!
- Phone Down: Okay, this one was a real struggle. I’m on my phone a lot. But I started leaving it in another room when we were eating dinner or watching a movie together. It felt weird at first, like I was missing something important, but it actually made a big difference.
Tracking and Adjusting
I used my notebook to track my progress every day. I gave myself a little checkmark for each thing I did well and a little “x” if I slipped up. It wasn’t about being perfect, just about being more aware of my behavior. I also started asking my spouse for feedback, which was a little scary, but important. “Hey, did I seem more present today?” or “Was I being kind of a jerk earlier?”
The Results
Honestly, it wasn’t a miracle cure or anything. But, after a few weeks, I definitely started to see a difference. My partner seemed happier, and I felt better about myself too. We were having fewer stupid arguments, and I felt more connected to them. It was like we were actually seeing each other again, you know? We had more actual conversations, and I learned more about them, and their day and their ideas.
Ongoing Effort
I’m still working on it. It’s not like I’m suddenly the perfect spouse. But I’m trying, and that’s what matters, right? This whole “experiment” has shown me that being a better partner is just about putting in the effort, day after day. It’s like anything else in life, you get out what you put in. And I’m definitely putting in the effort. The other day, I even caught myself offering to help without being asked, which is pretty much a miracle. So, yeah, it’s a work in progress, but I think I’m on the right track.
