Okay, let’s talk about this whole ‘nonchalant face’ thing I’ve been trying out.
Starting Point
It really started a while back. Found myself getting visibly worked up in situations where, honestly, it didn’t help one bit. Think meetings where someone says something completely off-the-wall, or dealing with customer service that feels like talking to a brick wall. My face just… gave everything away. Annoyance, disbelief, frustration. It felt draining, and honestly, probably didn’t make me look very professional or in control.
So, I thought, right, I need to work on this. I need to practice keeping a lid on it, outwardly at least. The goal wasn’t to become emotionless, just to choose when and how to show what I was feeling. Basically, mastering the art of the nonchalant face.
The Actual Practice
First step was just noticing. Catching myself in the moment when my eyebrows started climbing my forehead or my jaw clenched. Easier said than done, lemme tell you. Initially, I’d only realize after the fact that I’d pulled some ridiculous expression.
So, I started small. Low-stakes situations first.
- Boring Meetings: Instead of letting my eyes glaze over or sighing audibly (yeah, I did that), I focused on just keeping my face neutral. Like, actively thinking: ‘relax forehead’, ‘stop frowning’, ‘mouth neutral’. Felt super weird at first, like wearing a mask.
- Slightly Annoying Emails: Reading something that made me want to type back in all caps? Okay, deep breath. Reread it. Try to keep the face calm while reading. It sounds dumb, but it felt like a tiny bit of mental discipline.
- Waiting in Line: Instead of fidgeting or looking impatient, I tried to just… stand. Look straight ahead or observe things calmly. Keep the face relaxed.
Then I moved onto slightly harder stuff. Like when someone’s explaining something poorly, or when I strongly disagree with a point being made. My instinct is to jump in or show my disagreement visually.
What I actively did:
- Breathing: Yeah, the classic advice. Taking a slow, deliberate breath before reacting, or even while someone else is talking. It physically calms you down a tiny bit.
- Physical Check-in: Consciously relaxing my shoulders, unclenching my jaw. Sometimes I’d subtly press my tongue to the roof of my mouth to stop myself from grimacing.
- Mental Shift: Trying to observe the situation like an outsider. Thinking, “Okay, this is happening,” rather than, “Argh, I can’t believe this is happening!” Helped create a little distance.
- Minimal Reaction: A slight nod, a neutral “Okay,” or “I see.” Buying myself time, basically, instead of reacting instantly.
Where I’m At Now
It’s definitely a work in progress. Some days are better than others. Sometimes I totally forget and my face does its own thing. But I’ve noticed a difference. I feel a tiny bit more in control during those potentially frustrating moments. It’s less about fooling others, and more about managing my own internal state. Keeping a calm face seems to trick my brain into staying a bit calmer too.
It’s not about being fake, really. It’s more about not letting every little annoyance hijack my entire demeanor. Sometimes you just gotta put on that nonchalant face and glide through the nonsense. It’s kind of a practical skill, turns out. Still practicing, though. Always still practicing.
