So I wanted to figure out this whole thickness thing women prefer, right? Saw a buncha clickbaity videos and articles making big claims, figured screw it – I’ll just ask real people myself instead of guessing. Grabbed my dusty notebook and decided to treat this like a weird little social experiment.
My “Scientific” Method
Started simple. Hit up a few close female friends over text. Casual stuff like, “Hey random weird question for science…” Big mistake. Got three “EW” replies, one “Blocked,” and my buddy Sarah just sent back crying-laughing emojis. Okay, not the vibe. Clearly needed a better approach.
Switched to anonymous online spaces next. Posted in some women-focused subreddits with a throwaway account late at night. Threw out a question like: “Honestly, what feels better?” Didn’t expect much. Woke up to… holy shit… over 200 replies. People love oversharing in the dark apparently. Scrolled forever – answers were everywhere. Some said thicker felt better, others said shape mattered more than size, a bunch insisted it “depends on the guy,” and like 10 people just wrote “vibrators exist for a reason.” Chaos.
Turning Data Into Pure Confusion
Tried organizing this mess in my notebook:
- Team Bigger: “Feels fuller,” “More satisfying.”
- Team Average/Normal: “Comfort is key,” “Too big hurts, actually.”
- Team Doesn’t Matter: “Literally irrelevant if you know what you’re doing with it.”
- Team Motion of the Ocean: “Everything feels meh if the rhythm’s trash.”
Then I got brave. Asked a couple women face-to-face at a party. One friend just laughed: “Why the hell are you asking this?” My neighbor Jenna, dead serious, said, “Ask the next girl you date. Stop crowdsourcing intimacy.” Felt like I got slapped with a cold fish. She was right though.
The Moment I Realized I’m an Idiot
Was getting coffee yesterday when my best female friend saw my notebook page titled “CIRCUMFERENCE RESEARCH” and nearly choked. After the side-eye stopped, she dropped the bomb: “You realize you’ve been asking the wrong question for a week, right? It’s not about what women like universally. It’s about what your partner likes.”
Sat there staring at my cold latte. She was spot on. I spent days gathering generalized opinions instead of realizing the answer is basically “talk to the person you’re with.”
Final Verdict: My notebook’s full of conflicting scribbles. Real conclusion? Forget finding one magic size number. Ask and listen. And maybe buy a vibrator.
