My Journey Through Relationship Stuff
Okay, so today I wanted to talk about something heavy, something I actually went through myself – dealing with the fallout from a really bad relationship. Call it relationship trauma, call it whatever you want. It messed me up for a while.
It didn’t hit me all at once, you know? After things ended, I just felt… numb? Then angry. Then really, really sad. It was a whole rollercoaster. I found myself thinking about stuff that happened over and over again. Couldn’t sleep right. Little things would totally set me off. I realized I wasn’t just heartbroken; something deeper was kinda broken inside.
Starting the Work
So, first thing I did? Honestly, I just let myself feel crappy for a bit. Didn’t try to push it away. But after a while, I knew I couldn’t stay stuck there. It was exhausting. I decided I had to actually do something about it. Didn’t really know where to start, though.
I tried talking to a couple of close friends. That helped a bit, just getting it out. But they couldn’t really get it, not fully. And I didn’t want to burden them all the time.
Then I started reading. A lot. Not fancy psychology books, just articles online, people sharing their own stories. Some resonated, some didn’t. It made me feel less alone, seeing others had gone through similar crap.
Digging Deeper
The reading led me to journaling. I got a cheap notebook and just started writing. Didn’t care about grammar or making sense. Just dumped everything in my head onto the page. Fears, anger, confusion, memories. It was messy, raw stuff.
Doing this regularly, I started seeing patterns. Like, how I reacted to certain situations, or the kinds of thoughts that kept circling in my head. It wasn’t pretty, looking at that stuff square in the face. I realized how much the past relationship was still affecting how I saw myself and how I interacted with new people. I was jumpy, mistrustful.
Here’s what I noticed popping up a lot:
- Constantly second-guessing myself.
- Feeling anxious in totally normal situations.
- Having a really hard time trusting anyone, even friends sometimes.
- Just feeling generally ‘on edge’.
Seeing it written down made it real. It wasn’t just vague ‘bad feelings’ anymore. It had shape.
Moving Forward, Slowly
Okay, so identifying the junk was one thing. Dealing with it was another. This was the hard part, and it took time. Lots of time. There wasn’t a magic button.
I started consciously trying to challenge those negative thoughts when they popped up. Like, if I felt that old mistrust creeping in with someone new, I’d stop. Breathe. Ask myself, “Is this really about this person, right now? Or is it the old stuff talking?” Sometimes it was hard to tell, but just asking the question helped.
I also got serious about boundaries. Learned to say ‘no’ more. Learned to walk away from situations or conversations that felt triggering or unhealthy, without feeling guilty about it. That was huge. It felt like taking back some control.
There were good days and bad days. Some days I felt strong, like I was really making progress. Other days, something small would happen, and I’d feel like I was right back at square one. But I kept reminding myself that healing isn’t a straight line.
Where I’m At Now
It’s been a long road. Am I completely “over it”? Probably not, not 100%. Scars fade, but they’re still there, you know? But the difference now is huge. That old stuff doesn’t control me anymore. It doesn’t dictate my choices or ruin my day-to-day life.
I understand myself better. I know my triggers. I have tools now, ways to cope when the old feelings surface. Mostly, I feel more grounded. More… me. It wasn’t easy, and it took deliberate effort, day after day. But getting through that, processing that relationship trauma, was probably one of the most important things I’ve ever done for myself.
