After my divorce papers were signed, dating felt like climbing Mount Everest in flip-flops. I didn’t even have a map. Here’s exactly how I stumbled through it.
The ugly first steps
First month was just crying into microwaved dinners. Then my buddy Mike dragged me to trivia night. Worst mistake ever. I spent the whole time staring at my wedding ring tan line while people shouted about baseball stats. But Mike kept forcing me out – coffee shops, dog parks, even his niece’s piano recital. After 3 months? Started actually looking women in the eye at Starbucks.
Dropping into the dating pool
Signed up for two apps as “experiments”:
- Tinder felt like a circus – matched with a woman whose profile was just close-ups of her pet iguana. Noped out fast.
- Bumble was slightly better. First date? Showed up and she looked nothing like pictures. We ate tacos in silence while her phone buzzed every 30 seconds.
Kept at it for weeks feeling like a crash test dummy.
The turning point
On date #8 (yes I counted), met Sarah at a brewery. Instead of rehearsing my “divorce elevator pitch,” I actually asked about her. Turns out she’d just sold her pottery business to travel. We spent two hours laughing about failed craft fair disasters. Didn’t kiss, didn’t exchange numbers – just had a real human conversation. Walked away feeling lighter than in years.
My survival takeaways
- Forget finding “the one” – aim for “someone who doesn’t chew loudly” first
- Treat every awkward date like reconnaissance – you’re gathering intel about yourself
- Wear shoes that won’t kill your feet (actual advice – blisters ruined date #3)
Four months later? Still making cringe-worthy mistakes. Last week accidentally called my date by my ex-wife’s cat’s name. But hey – at least I’m showing up.
