Alright, alright, let’s talk about this… this thing. You youngsters got all sorts of fancy names for stuff, but back in my day, we just, well, we didn’t have such things! But times change, I guess. So, you wanna know how to make one of them… what-cha-ma-call-its? A homemade, you know, fleshlight? Alright, listen up, I ain’t no expert, but I’ve seen a thing or two in my life.
First off, you gotta find yourself somethin’… somethin’ soft and, well, you know, holdable. Like, have you ever seen them Barbie dolls? Yeah, those little cars they got? Something like that size might just do the trick. Not too big, not too small. Just right, you see?
Now, what you gonna put inside this thing? That’s the real question, ain’t it? Some folks might use… Hmm, I’m tryin’ to think of somethin’ not too dirty to say. Maybe some… soft cloths? Yeah, like old t-shirts, cut up real good. Make sure they’re clean, though! Nobody wants a dirty… well, you know. You could roll them up tight, real tight, so it feels, um, you know, full.
- Cut up some old t-shirts.
- Make sure them cloths are clean.
- Roll them up tight.
Or, here’s another idea. You ever make mashed potatoes? Yeah, mashed potatoes. Sounds crazy, right? But think about it. They’re soft, squishy… you get the idea. Now, I ain’t sayin’ you should actually use mashed potatoes, that’d be a mess! But somethin’ with that kinda texture. Maybe some… what’s that stuff they put in yogurt? Yeah, somethin’ thick and creamy. You gotta find somethin’ that feels good, you understand?
And how you gonna put it all together? That’s the tricky part. You gotta find somethin’ to hold it all in. Maybe an old… sock? Yeah, a sock might work. A long one, mind you. Cut off the end, stuff it full with your… filling, and then tie it off real good. Make sure it’s sealed tight, you don’t want nothin’ leakin’ out. That’d be a disaster!
Now, some folks might get fancy. They might use… oh, I don’t even know the words for it. All these newfangled materials they got nowadays. But me? I like to keep it simple. Use what you got around the house. That’s what we always did back in my day. Waste not, want not, that’s what my mama always said.
And listen, be careful, alright? Cleanliness is important. You don’t want to get no… infections or nothin’. Wash everything good before you use it, and wash it good after, too. Common sense, really, but some folks, well, they just don’t have it.
And when you’re done with this… thing… well, I guess you just, you know, get rid of it. Can’t be havin’ somethin’ like that lyin’ around for just anybody to see. Discreet, that’s the word. You gotta be discreet. Wrap it up good, throw it in the trash. Nobody needs to know your business.
This whole thing sounds mighty strange to an old woman like me, but times are different, I reckon. Just remember what I told you. Keep it clean, keep it simple, and for goodness sake, keep it to yourself!
Oh, and one more thing! You know, like when you got aches and pains, and you take a nice warm bath? Timing matters, just like with a bath. Maybe use this thing… when you’re tired, you know, after a long day. Or maybe when you’re feelin’… frustrated. It’s supposed to make you feel better, right? So use it when you need it most. And remember to be safe! That’s the most important thing.
Making somethin’ like this… it ain’t rocket science. Just use your head, use what you got, and be careful. That’s all there is to it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go make myself some eggnog. Pour the eggs, sugar… Oh, nevermind, that’s another story for another day.
And for goodness sakes, don’t go tellin’ everyone I told you how to make this thing! It’s our little secret, you hear?
Tags: DIY, sex toy, homemade, adult, how to
