You know, I’ve been thinking lately about the small stuff in a relationship. Specifically, hugs and kisses. Not the big movie-moment kind, but the everyday ones. I started actually paying attention to how we do it, my partner and I.
Thinking back, I wasn’t always mindful about this. Early on, or maybe in past relationships, it was more automatic. A quick hug when leaving for work, a peck hello. Just going through the motions, I guess. It wasn’t bad, just… not something I actively thought about improving or making more meaningful. It was just there, part of the package deal.
Putting in the Effort
Then, maybe after hitting a bit of a routine slump, or maybe just observing couples who seemed genuinely connected in that quiet way, I decided to try something. It wasn’t a grand plan, just a small shift. I started consciously making the hugs last. Instead of the quick pat-pat-release, I tried holding on for just a few seconds longer. Feeling the warmth, the presence. Same with kisses. Not necessarily making them super passionate all the time, but moving away from the lightning-fast peck towards something that lasted, say, five or six seconds. Long enough to actually register it.
It felt a bit weird at first, I won’t lie. Like, am I being deliberate? Does this feel forced? There were times, especially when tired or distracted, when it felt like just another task. But I tried to stick with it.
- Holding the hug a bit longer, even when rushing out the door.
- Making eye contact before a kiss sometimes.
- Trying to be present in that small moment, not thinking about the next thing on the to-do list.
What Happened?
Slowly, gradually, it started to feel less like an effort and more like a habit. A good one. It didn’t magically solve all life’s problems, of course. We still have disagreements, bad days, stresses. But these small moments of connection, scattered through the day, they started to build up. It felt like reinforcing the foundation, brick by tiny brick.
It’s like it sends a little signal – “I see you, I’m here with you, you matter” – without needing words. I remember reading somewhere or maybe hearing someone talk about how even short, intentional physical connections can release happy chemicals in your brain. Don’t know the fancy terms for it, but it felt like that. A little boost, a moment of calm in the daily chaos.
It’s funny, because you see so many different styles out there. Some couples are very physically affectionate publicly, others less so. I realized it’s not about copying anyone else, but finding what feels right and genuine for us. For me, adding that little bit of intention to the everyday hugs and kisses made a difference. It became less of a formality and more of a real, albeit small, connection point.
So yeah, that’s my experience. Focusing on making those simple, everyday physical gestures a bit more mindful. It’s not rocket science, just paying a little more attention. And it seems to help keep things feeling close and connected, even when life gets busy. It’s become part of our normal now, something we just do, building that bond one slightly longer hug at a time.
