So yeah, I got curious about this whole DIY thing for making my own, uh, toy. Saw those fancy ones online cost a damn fortune and thought, nah, there’s gotta be cheaper stuff lying around the house, right? Figured I’d try it and see what happens, just for kicks.
Gathering the Weird Stuff
Started hunting around the kitchen and bathroom cabinets like a madman. Goal was zero extra cost. Here’s the weird list I ended up with:
- An empty plastic lotion bottle (cleaned it forever, still faintly smelled like mango)
- An old flesh-toned nylon stocking, one of those thick ones nobody wears anymore
- A brand new pack of cheap sponges meant for washing the car
- Random rubber bands found in the junk drawer
- A plastic bag filled with cornstarch mixed with warm water (felt super weird squishing it)
- Some sticky lube I found (thankfully unopened!)
The Frankentoy Assembly
First, I cut the top off that damn lotion bottle, leaving kinda a hole. Hurt my fingers trying to smooth the rough edge – not great. Then, shoved a couple of those sponges inside. Tried to make it feel somewhat soft and springy, you know?
Next, the nylon stocking. Pulled it over the sponges inside the bottle opening, stretching it tight like pantyhose over a melon. Used the rubber bands to cinch it super tight around the bottle neck. Holy crap, that took effort.
Now for the weird goo. Mixed cornstarch and warm water in the plastic bag. Kept adding water until it felt… let’s say kinda squishy and weird. Poured that entire mess all around the sponges inside the stocking layer, hoping it would fill gaps. Made a huge sticky disaster zone on my kitchen counter.
Slapped some of that sticky lube onto the stretched nylon part, just to see if it felt anything at all like it should.
The Real Cost Test
Straight up cost? Technically used stuff I had: that cheap sponge pack was maybe $1 when I bought it years ago, cornstarch is pennies, lube sample free with something else. Everything else was junk about to be tossed. So call it basically $1 total vs. $40+ for a store thing.
But Here’s What Happened
Put my hand inside. Holy crap. Feels… weird and cold? The cornstarch slime leaked everywhere almost immediately, turning my hands and the bottle into a ghost-white mess. The nylon stocking got kinda bunched up and rough against the skin. The whole setup feels super unnatural and flimsy. Kinda worked? But mostly felt like fumbling with a leaky science experiment gone wrong. And cleanup was an absolute nightmare. Sticky, gloopy stuff everywhere.
Verdict? Yeah, technically made something for almost nothing. Is it anything close to the real deal? Nah. Does it feel good? Not really. Is it worth the ridiculous amount of effort and cleanup? Hell no. Stick to actual safe toys, seriously. This DIY route got messy, felt totally weird, and wasn’t worth saving that buck. Total disaster, though I guess it kinda works in the most hilariously awful way.
