Okay, so I’ve been thinking a lot about what makes a relationship actually work, you know? Not just the fairytale stuff, but the real, day-to-day, sometimes-messy, sometimes-amazing kind of thing. I decided to really dig into what my expectations were, and whether they were, well, healthy.
My Little Experiment Started
First, I grabbed a notebook and started brainstorming. I literally just wrote down everything that came to mind when I thought about a “good” relationship. No filtering, just raw thoughts. Stuff like “always being there,” “constant communication,” “never fighting,” – the works. It was a pretty long list, and honestly, a little intimidating.
Sorted Things Through
Next, I went through that monster list and started categorizing things. I used different colored pens for this, felt very professional. I had categories like:
- Must-Haves: These were the non-negotiables, like respect and honesty.
- Nice-to-Haves: Things that would be awesome, but weren’t deal-breakers, like sharing all the same hobbies.
- Unrealistic Expectations: This was the tough one. I had to be brutally honest with myself about stuff that just wasn’t fair or practical, like expecting my partner to read my mind.
Realization Hit Me
This sorting process was eye-opening. I realized I had some pretty skewed ideas. I was expecting perfection, which is obviously not a thing. Like, I had this idea that we should never disagree, which is just…dumb. Disagreements are normal! It’s how you handle them that matters.
Talked It Out
After getting my own head straight, I talked to my partner. I explained what I’d been doing, and we went through my list together. It was a little awkward at first, but it turned into a really great conversation. We discussed our individual expectations, and found some common ground. We also identified some areas where we needed to work on things, like communicating more openly when we’re feeling stressed.
Things are better
It’s not like everything magically transformed overnight, but this whole process made a huge difference. I feel like I have a much clearer, more realistic understanding of what I need and want in a relationship. And, more importantly, my partner and I are on the same page. We’re both committed to working on building a healthier, happier connection, based on realistic expectations and open communication. And that’s a pretty great feeling.
