The Beginning of Our Struggles
So me and my boyfriend hit this rough patch last winter, man. Started with dumb arguments about who forgot to buy groceries again, then blew up into full-on screaming matches over text messages. Felt like walking on eggshells 24/7 – one wrong look and bam, World War Gay in our living room.
Confronting the Mess
One Tuesday after he slammed the bedroom door (again), I grabbed my notebook and wrote down every fight we’d had that month. Seeing it on paper shocked me – 18 arguments, and 14 were about the same damn things: chores, his ex texting him, me working late. Felt like we were broken records.
Operation Fix-This-Shit
Sat his ass down that Friday with two coffees and my list. Told him straight up: “We’re stuck in a loop and I can’t do this anymore.” He actually nodded instead of getting defensive. That’s when we made our three rules:
- No more arguing over text – period
- Sunday check-ins where we actually listen instead of interrupting
- His ex gets muted on social media unless it’s an emergency
Putting It Into Practice
First few weeks were messy as hell. Caught myself texting angry emojis one night and literally threw my phone on the couch. Had to physically walk to the other room to talk like cavemen. Sundays felt awkward as fuck at first – sipping tea while discussing who didn’t take out trash? But then something clicked around week three.
He admitted feeling insecure when I worked late. I confessed his ex’s comments bothered me more than I let on. We even made a chore chart like fucking roommates (pro tip: colored markers help). Biggest game-changer? When he got drunk-dialed by his ex at 2am and immediately showed me the call log instead of hiding it.
Where We’re At Now
Six months later, our place doesn’t feel like a war zone anymore. We still slip up sometimes – last Tuesday I almost bit his head off over dirty dishes – but now we catch it fast. Just last week he paused mid-argument and goes, “Wait, are we doing the thing again?” and we both cracked up. Still working on it daily, but damn it’s easier when you stop fighting against each other and start fighting for each other.
