Alright, let’s talk about something I figured out over time. For a long while, I kinda went about oral sex thinking it was pretty straightforward, you know? Like there was a basic set of instructions, and you just followed them.
But then, through just trying things out, really, I started seeing how much that wasn’t true. It wasn’t one big moment, more like a slow realization. I started experimenting, just paying closer attention during the act itself. What happens if I change the pressure? Sometimes really light, barely there, other times firmer. Noticed different reactions right away.
Then I played around with speed. Fast isn’t always better, slow isn’t always the magic trick. It was more about mixing it up, finding a rhythm, or even deliberately breaking the rhythm. That seemed to get more interesting responses.
Bringing Hands into Play
This was a big one for me. Initially, I guess my hands were just… there. Holding things, maybe. But then I started consciously thinking about how to use them. Different grips, different movements, using them actively alongside my mouth. Stroking, applying pressure in different spots, just exploring textures and shapes. It added a whole new dimension, made it feel less like one single point of contact and more like a whole experience.
Mouth Techniques Aren’t One-Size-Fits-All
Inside the mouth too, I realized I’d been kind of doing the same thing over and over. So, I started varying it. Experimenting was key.
- Using different parts of my tongue – the tip, the flat, the underside.
- Changing the shape of my mouth.
- Using suction, then releasing it.
- Sometimes focusing on one tiny spot, other times broader movements.
It wasn’t about finding the one perfect technique. It was realizing that different things worked at different times, or for different partners, or even just depending on the mood.
Paying attention to feedback, even the non-verbal stuff – a change in breathing, a small movement – that told me more than anything else. You learn what works by seeing the reaction, plain and simple. Sometimes you try something, and it’s a dud. Okay, noted. Try something else.
So, yeah, the whole point I landed on is pretty basic: stop looking for a single ‘right’ way. There just isn’t one. It’s about being present, trying different approaches, and figuring out what feels good right then and there for the people involved. It made it way less performative and honestly, a lot more enjoyable and connecting once I ditched the idea of a standard operating procedure.
