Alright folks, grab a coffee, this one’s about a lesson I learned the slightly gross way. Started last week Tuesday, totally normal day. Woke up, stretched, did my usual oatmeal thing. Felt fine.
The First Little Sign
Wednesday morning, heading to the bathroom like always. Noticed something… off. Wiped and saw this faint greenish tinge. Seriously faint. Like, “Did I eat too much spinach?” faint. I shrugged it off. No pain, no itch, nothing. Figured it was just a weird fluke.
Went about my business. Made lunch, answered emails, even squeezed in a walk. Didn’t give it another thought.
Okay, This Ain’t Going Away
Thursday. Bam. More noticeable now. Not faint anymore. Actual green gunk. Still no major discomfort, but a tiny tug in my lower belly? Maybe. Maybe just gas? Also noticed a kinda… sweet-ish smell? Weirded me out.
- Ignored it again. Told myself, “Eh, body’s just clearing something out.” Drank extra water, ate yogurt like it was my job. Thought probiotics would magic-wand it away.
Friday morning. Nope. Worse. The green wasn’t subtle. Think murky pond water color. And the amount? Yeah, way more than usual discharge. Plus, that tug? Turning into a proper, low ache. Like period cramps but different. Annoying. The smell? Stronger. Definitely not my imagination.
- Started Googling. Big mistake. Went down the rabbit hole of “maybe it’s an infection,” “maybe it’s an STI,” “maybe it’s cancer” (seriously, internet?). Freaked myself out a bit.
The Tipping Point
By Saturday, I couldn’t kid myself anymore.
- The Color: Bright, unmistakable green. Almost fluorescent under the light. Chunky, cottage-cheese texture sometimes? Yuck.
- The Pain: That low ache was constant now. Dull, persistent throb deep down. Walking felt weirdly tender.
- The Smell: Strong. Fishy-sweet. Hard to ignore.
- General Misery: Started feeling tired. Warm. Checked my temperature – slight fever. 99.5°F (37.5°C). Not raging, but definitely not right.
Stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. “You idiot,” I said. “This isn’t spinach. This is your body screaming.”
Finally Pulling the Trigger
Felt stupid for waiting. Seriously. Dragged myself to the urgent care clinic Saturday afternoon. Signed in, filled out forms. Sat in the waiting room feeling embarrassed and achey. Nurse called me back. Took vitals. Fever confirmed.
Doctor came in. Nice lady. Asked all the usual questions:
- When did it start?
- What color exactly?
- Pain level?
- Fever?
- Any new partners/products?
She did a quick exam. Gentle, thank god. Didn’t seem phased at all. Just nodded.
“Okay,” she said. “Based on what you’re describing, the color, the smell, the discomfort… It very likely points to an infection brewing down there.”
Prescribed antibiotics right then. Gave me a single dose to take immediately at the clinic and a prescription for more. Told me sternly to finish ALL the pills, even if I feel better quickly.
- Also said: Skip the yoga pants, stick to cotton undies. Avoid baths. No sex until it’s gone. Drink water like it’s going out of style.
The Takeaway (Where I Feel Dumb)
So yeah. Learned the hard way. Green discharge? Especially when it:
- Comes with pain (any kind – ache, burning)
- Changes smell (fishy/sweet/bad)
- Gets thicker/chunkier
- Shows up with fever or just feeling unwell
Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Do NOT convince yourself it’s fine. That’s your body waving a big green flag going “HEY! OVER HERE! HELP!”
Ignoring it lets whatever nasty bug it is set up camp deeper. Wasted days feeling crappy when I could have felt better faster. Lesson brutally learned. Trust me, the doctor’s office is way less scary than sitting there wondering what fresh hell is happening down below.
