My Frustrating Search Journey
So I sat down one Tuesday night feeling kinda lonely. Thought, why not try meeting bi women nearby? Figured it must be easy with all the apps now. Grabbed my phone and started smashing that download button on like, five different apps people always talk about. Big mistake.
Opened the first one. That popular “swipe right” one. Set my preferences, started looking. First ten profiles? Couples looking for a “third”. Felt like a zoo exhibit, man. Kept swiping, hoping for single women. Nope. Mostly couples and dudes pretending to be women. Total waste of time. Closed it feeling frustrated.
Digging Deeper (and Getting Annoyed)
Decided apps weren’t cutting it. Googled stuff like “local lgbt groups my city”. Found a few listings for meetups, some kinda community center. Looked promising! Checked the dates:
- Queer book club? Last met three months ago.
- Bi women’s coffee chat? Page hadn’t been updated in a year.
- Community center website? Broken links everywhere.
Seriously? How hard is it to keep a website current? Felt like chasing ghosts.
Remembered Reddit. Searched for the subreddit for my city. Found it! Scrolled through posts for ages. Found one lonely thread asking about bi spaces from like, 2021. Replies basically said:
- “That old cafe closed during COVID.”
- “The group that met at the library dissolved.”
- “Good luck, it’s tough here.”
Ugh. Not helpful now, was it?
The Free Stuff That Actually (Kinda) Worked
Almost gave up. Then I stumbled on an old blog post talking about Facebook Groups. Logged into my dusty Facebook account. Searched super specific terms like “Bi Women [My City Name] Social” and “Queer Women [My City Name] Hangout”.
Bingo! Found three groups that were actually active. Didn’t find a purely “bi women” group, but found:
- A general “Queer Women of [My City]” group organizing hiking trips.
- A super active “WLW [My Area]” group where people posted about brunches and game nights weekly.
- A smaller “Bi & Pan Friends [My Region]” group that posted occasional meetups.
Sent join requests to all three. Took a day or two, but got approved! Scrolled carefully. Saw real people posting about meeting for coffee, not just endless memes. Much better vibe than the apps already.
Putting Myself Out There (Nervously)
Played it safe. Commented on a few posts in the WLW group, just friendly stuff. Then saw a post: “Anyone wanna try the new board game cafe downtown Wednesday?” Nervously typed “I’d be down!” Hit enter… palms sweating like crazy, honestly.
A few hours later, OP replied saying cool, meeting at 7 PM. Group chat link shared! Jumped in. Introduced myself. Five other women joined. Mostly talked about favorite board games and bad dates first. It wasn’t a bi-only thing, but hey, it was real people meeting up.
My Big Takeaway (No Magic Bullet)
Honestly? There’s no single magical “find bi women” button. Learned the hard way:
- Big dating apps often suck for this. Too many chasers, too many couples only.
- Patience is key. Finding the right spaces takes digging.
- Facebook Groups (still!) are surprisingly useful local hubs if you search the exact right terms.
- It’s often lumped under “wlw” or “queer women” spaces, not pure “bi”. Gotta start there.
- Free usually means grassroots. Be ready for less polish, maybe some dead links, but potentially way more genuine connections.
Took me nearly two weeks of poking around, hitting dead ends, and getting frustrated before stumbling on that one board game meetup post that actually worked. Definitely simpler? Maybe not. Possible with free stuff? Absolutely. Just gotta manage expectations and keep digging. Felt better connecting through a shared activity anyway, less pressure! Worth the hassle in the end.
