Okay, so today I want to talk about something that’s been super helpful for my partner and me: pre-marriage counseling. We’re not getting married like, tomorrow, but we’re serious, and we figured it’s better to get ahead of things, you know?
Getting Started
First, we had to find a counselor. We didn’t really know where to start, so we just asked around. A friend of mine recommended someone, and we checked them out online. They seemed legit, so we booked an initial consultation.
The First Session
Honestly, I was a little nervous going in. I didn’t know what to expect. But the counselor was really chill. They just asked us a bunch of questions about our relationship – how we met, what we love about each other, what bugs us… that kind of stuff.
- We talked about our communication styles. Turns out, I’m more of an “I need to process this alone” person, while my partner wants to talk things out immediately.
- We discussed our expectations for marriage. Like, who’s going to do the dishes? (Still working on that one!)
- We explored our values. It was good to see we’re on the same page about the big things.
Digging Deeper
Over the next few sessions, we dug deeper. We talked about our families, our past relationships, and our fears. It got pretty intense sometimes, but it was good to get it all out in the open.
We use some tools to help the counselor.
- Questionnaire: Filling out a detailed questionnaire that covers various aspects of our relationship.
- Counselor’s method: Using techniques like the Gottman Method or Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).
- Counselor’s guidence:Reading books or articles recommended by the counselor.
What We Learned
The biggest thing we learned is how to communicate better. We practiced active listening, which is harder than it sounds! We also learned to identify our conflict patterns and how to break them.
It’s not like we’re perfect now, but we definitely feel more prepared for whatever comes our way. We plan to continue with counseling, even after we’re married. It’s like a relationship tune-up!
So, yeah, that’s my experience with pre-marriage counseling. It’s been a really positive thing for us, and I’d definitely recommend it to any couple who’s thinking about taking that next step.
