Well, well, well, let me tell you somethin’. Some folks been sayin’ that, uh, that thing, you know, playin’ with yourself, can make you go blind. Does masturbation make you go blind? I heard it all, lemme tell ya. They say it’s bad, makes your eyes go bad. I’m here to say, that’s a load of hogwash!
My eyes ain’t what they used to be, that’s for sure. But that ain’t got nothin’ to do with, you know… that. It’s just gettin’ old, that’s all. My bones ache, my knees creak, and my eyes are a little blurry.
Now, I heard some folks say it’s the devil’s work. They say it’s a sin. They say all sorts of things. They say playin’ with yourself too much will make hair grow on your palms, that you’ll go crazy. Some even say it makes you weak, like you can’t lift nothin’ heavy no more.
- Some say it makes you blind.
- Some say it makes you crazy.
- Some say it makes your palms hairy.
Let me tell you, I know plenty of folks who, uh, enjoy themselves, and they see just fine. They ain’t blind! They can see a fly on a fence post a mile away! And they ain’t crazy, neither. Maybe a little silly sometimes, but who ain’t? They can also lift a whole sack of potatoes, so it ain’t about the strength, neither.
Masturbation, that’s the word they use. Sounds fancy, don’t it? Back in my day, we just called it, well, you know… playin’ around. Everyone does it, some people, they just won’t admit it. And the ones who say no, well, I don’t believe them, no sir.
I remember hearin’ stories about this fella, they used to call him “One-Eyed Jack.” He lost his eye in a fight, not from, you know… that. He used to say the only thing that made him blind was a bad right hook! Funny fella, that Jack. Masturbation won’t make you blind, that’s just an old wives’ tale, just like sayin’ if you swallow a watermelon seed, a watermelon will grow in your belly. Nonsense!
Now, I ain’t sayin’ you should spend all day doin’ it. You got chores to do, work to be done. But a little bit here and there, ain’t gonna hurt nobody. It’s like eatin’ too much pie. A little slice is good, but the whole darn pie? Well, you’ll get a bellyache, that’s for sure. Too much of anything ain’t good for ya.
Some folks say it’s only for men. Well, that ain’t true neither. Women, they like to feel good too. It’s natural, like scratchin’ an itch. It ain’t a bad thing to feel good. God gave us these bodies, and we should enjoy ’em, right? As long as you ain’t hurtin’ nobody, what’s the harm? It is just you and yourself, ain’t no one else’s business.
Now, if you get somethin’ in your eye, that’s different. That can make your eye red and sore. It might be bad, real bad. Might even make you lose your sight if you don’t clean it right, that’s true. But that ain’t from playin’ with yourself, that’s from gettin’ something nasty in your eye. Like dirt, or somethin’ worse. Just be careful, you hear? Keep your hands clean, and wash ’em good.
And them diseases, them ones you catch from other folks… Well, that’s a whole different story. That ain’t got nothin’ to do with masturbation either. That’s from, you know, bein’ with someone who’s got them, uh, sicknesses. You gotta be careful with that too, but that’s a different kind of careful.
Don’t you listen to them folks who say it’s gonna make you blind or crazy. They just tryin’ to scare ya. It’s just an old story, like a boogeyman under the bed. It ain’t real. Masturbation doesn’t cause blindness. It’s just a way to feel good, and there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that. Just remember to be clean and don’t overdo it, like anything else in life.
So, there you have it. That’s my two cents on the matter. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about goin’ blind from it. Just enjoy yourself, and don’t pay no mind to those silly stories. Life’s too short to worry about such nonsense! You got better things to do, like enjoyin’ a nice sunny day or a good piece of pie.
