My Dumb Struggle With Bad Habits
Alright let’s talk about something awkward. A few months back I started noticing things just weren’t right. Feeling wiped out all the time like I just ran a marathon even though I only sat on my damn couch. Couldn’t focus on work for more than ten minutes without my brain wandering somewhere it shouldn’t. And yeah… down there? Kinda felt numb sometimes even when things should’ve felt good. That freaked me out. Realized this daily…uh… “self-care” routine wasn’t helping.
Trying To Stop Full Stop (Big Mistake)
First dumb plan? Full shutdown. I was like, “Just quit cold turkey. Easy.” Yeah right. Made it maybe two days? Three? Felt like my brain was screaming at me 24/7. Couldn’t sleep properly, got so annoyed at tiny things. Looked up stuff online, found all these horror stories about “death grip” and addiction. Got scared straight for a minute. But just saying “no” wasn’t working. Felt like crap and was ready to snap at anyone breathing near me. Needed a smarter move.
Swapping Bad Habits For Less Bad Ones
Okay Plan B: Make it harder to do the usual thing. Knew I always did it late at night when alone in bed with phone. So started some dumb rules:
- No phone in bed after 10 PM. Seriously. Plugged it in across the room.
- Started taking really cold showers before bed. Sounds awful? It is. But it shocks the system.
- Bought a cheap notebook. Every time I got the urge and didn’t act? Wrote down “Win”. Looked stupid, but seeing “Wins” pile up helped a bit.
Also started doing push-ups. Just random sets. Ten? Twenty? Didn’t matter. Just needed my hands busy doing ANYTHING else. Seemed pointless but started to help.
Getting Out Of My Own Head
Biggest thing though? Found out I was bored outta my skull. Empty time was enemy number one. Started doing stuff:
- Actually cooking food instead of instant noodles. Chopping stuff took concentration.
- Started walking outside. Just around the block first, then further. Sounds too simple. But fresh air helped clear the fog.
- Messaged old friends more. Just dumb memes or “how you doing?” Filled the void a little.
The urges didn’t vanish. But having these small actions gave me other stuff to focus on. Made the “need” feel smaller, less urgent.
Where I’m At Now (It’s Messy)
Is this “fixed”? Hell no. Some days are harder than others. Stress still slams me. Maybe slipped up last weekend? Yeah, I did. Felt a bit crap after. But not like before. Didn’t feel wiped out. Didn’t get that numbness. That panic? Gone. Now it’s more like: “Well, slipped. Dumb. Move on.” The notebook? Less “Wins” these days cause it’s not a constant battle anymore.
Biggest change? I feel less stuck. More energy. Brain doesn’t feel fuzzy. Not shouting “success!” from the rooftops. It’s still awkward sometimes. But I’m not letting it screw me up like before. Just small, dumb actions adding up day by day.
