So I started noticing this topic popping up in my life and on social media. Friends kept asking me questions like, “Are we dating or in a relationship?” and honestly? I was confused too. Decided to dive into this mess by observing my own dating life over the past year.
My Awkward Starting Point
Met this girl through mutual friends last spring. We hung out twice a week for coffee, dinners, even went hiking once. Thought things were going great until she suddenly ghosted me after two months. Like POOF – disappeared. Messaged her like a dumbass asking what happened and she hit me with “Wait, we were in a relationship?” That’s when I realized I couldn’t tell the freaking difference.
The Experiment Phase
Started journaling every interaction with potential partners. Wrote down stuff like:
- How often they texted first
- If we met each other’s friends
- Who paid for dates
- Whether we talked about future plans
Dated three different people intentionally keeping things casual at first. With Sarah, we only saw each other on weekends and never texted between meetups. Zero emotional investment, clearly just dating territory. Then with Maya, things got messy fast – she called me at 2am when her cat died but refused to label anything. Classic confusing situationship crap.
Relationship Lightbulb Moment
Everything clicked when I met Jamie last fall. Around month three:
- She randomly showed up at my place with soup when I had flu
- We argued about whose turn it was to pay
- Her mom started texting me holiday greetings
- We had “the talk” about being exclusive without me initiating it
That’s when I finally got it: relationships aren’t about time, they’re about DEPTH. Dating feels like testing waters, relationships mean you’re already swimming together in the damn ocean.
Final Takeaways
After six months of observing and taking notes:
- Consistency beats frequency – daily texts mean nothing if plans always cancel
- Vulnerability is the gateway drug to real relationships
- If you’re scared to ask “what are we?”, you’re probably still dating
Stopped overthinking labels once I recognized these patterns. The moment both people start naturally acting like partners instead of polite date-mates? That’s the invisible line. Took me way too many awkward conversations to learn this stuff. Hope my experience saves you some headache.
