Okay, so let’s talk about something that’s been on my mind a lot lately: societal expectations of women. I mean, it’s 2024, and we’re still dealing with some seriously outdated ideas about what it means to be a woman.
I started thinking about this more deeply a few weeks ago. I was scrolling through social media, and it was just one ad after another telling me how I should look, what I should wear, and even how I should feel. It was exhausting! I began to jot down some notes about the ads and the common themes that popped up.
- Be pretty, but not too pretty.
- Be smart, but not smarter than a man.
- Be assertive, but also be nice and accommodating.
I decided to do a little experiment. For one week, I tracked every time I felt pressured to conform to some unspoken rule about being a woman. The first day, I went to the grocery store without makeup. I immediately felt self-conscious, like people were judging me for not “putting in the effort.” I wrote that down.
Then, mid-week, I had a meeting at work where I had a really strong opinion about a project. I voiced it, and I could feel the room shift. Later, a colleague mentioned I was being “a bit aggressive.” I wrote that down, too.
By the end of the week, my notebook was filled. I had pages of these little moments where I felt the weight of expectations. Be a good mom, but also have a career. Be fit, but don’t spend too much time at the gym. It was like walking a tightrope!
So, I decided to take it a step further. I started talking to other women about their experiences. I spoke with my friends, my mom, my grandma, and even some women I met online. Guess what? They all had similar stories. We talked about the pressure to be nurturing, to put others first, to always be “on.”
Here’s what I realized: these expectations are everywhere, and they’re not just coming from men. We, as women, often internalize these messages and put pressure on ourselves and each other. It’s like we’ve been handed a script, and we’re all just trying to play our parts.
After gathering all these stories and reflecting on my own experiences, I decided to make some changes. I started small. I began to consciously challenge myself whenever I felt that pressure to conform. If I didn’t feel like wearing makeup, I didn’t. If I had a strong opinion, I voiced it without apologizing.
And you know what? It felt liberating! It wasn’t easy, and I still have moments of doubt, but I feel like I’m finally starting to write my own script. And that’s what I want to share with you all. It’s okay to question these expectations. It’s okay to push back. It’s okay to be you, whatever that looks like.
My Takeaway
We don’t have to fit into a mold that society has created for us. We can be strong, ambitious, and nurturing, or none of those things. The important thing is that we get to choose. And the more we support each other in making those choices, the closer we’ll get to a world where everyone feels free to be their true selves.
