Okay, so, infidelity. It’s a mess, right? I’ve been doing some digging into this whole “stages of grief” thing when it comes to cheating, and let me tell you, it’s been a wild ride. It all started when I stumbled upon this article talking about the “discovery stage.” That got me thinking, so I decided to dive deeper.
First, I tried to understand what actually happens when someone finds out about an affair. It is like this huge wave of confusion, and the article I read mentioned something called the “Gottman-Rusbult-Glass betrayal cascade.” I mean, what even is that? I did some research, and it’s basically this whole process the cheater goes through, but the person who got cheated on has no clue about it. That’s messed up.
So, I started mapping out these stages. I used some sticky notes and a whiteboard. Then I spent time, writing, scribbling, erasing, and rewriting it all over again. I was trying to get into the heads of both people involved. It felt like detective work, honestly.
Here’s what I’ve figured out so far:
- The Discovery: This is the big “BAM!” moment. The day you find out. Everything you thought was real comes crashing down. It’s like a bomb went off in your life. It involves shock, disbelief, maybe even denial.
- The Anger: Oh boy, the rage. I listed down all the angry thoughts, the desire for revenge, the urge to scream. You are furious at your partner, maybe even at yourself. Why did it happen to you?
- The Bargaining: This is where it got tricky. I had to really think about the “what ifs” and the “if onlys.” You start thinking maybe you can fix things, or maybe it was your fault. You might even try to make deals with the universe.
- The Depression: This one was tough to write about. It’s the heavy sadness, the feeling of being completely lost and hopeless. I tried to capture that feeling of emptiness, like a dark cloud hanging over you.
- The Acceptance: Finally, you start to see a glimmer of light. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but it’s a start. You are realizing that you can move on, that life goes on. I tried to list a feeling that, like waking up one day and realizing you are okay, even if it’s just a little bit.
Putting all of this together was exhausting but also kind of therapeutic. It’s like I went through the whole process myself, just by writing it down. It’s still a work in progress, but I feel like I’m getting somewhere. It is like I took a journey through a really dark tunnel, and now I can see the light at the end, even if it’s still far away. But I’m getting closer.
