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Controlling in a Relationship: How to Identify and Deal with It?

MysticMoon by MysticMoon
December 25, 2024
in Emotional Relationships
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This here thing, controlling in a relationship, ain’t no good, no sir.

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Controlling in a Relationship: How to Identify and Deal with It?

It’s like one person tryin’ to be the boss of the other, always tellin’ ’em what to do, where to go, who to see. Just ain’t right.

I seen it happen to folks. One gets all bossy, other one just kinda shrinks down, scared to speak up. That’s controlling for ya, makin’ someone feel small.

Controlling, What’s It All About?

Well, it’s like this. One person in the relationship, they gotta have their way all the time. Like they’re the king or queen, and the other person is just there to do what they’re told.

  • They wanna know where you are, every minute of the day.
  • They get mad if you talk to certain folks.
  • They tell you what to wear, what to eat, even what to think!

It ain’t love, that’s for sure. Love is supposed to make you feel good, safe, happy. Controlling in a relationship, it just makes you feel trapped, like a bird in a cage.

This controlling stuff, it can be sneaky. Sometimes it starts small. Maybe they just wanna know where you’re goin’, who you’re with. Sounds kinda carin’, right? But then it gets worse. They start gettin’ mad if you don’t answer your phone right away. They don’t like your friends, your family. They want you all to themselves.

Controlling in a Relationship: How to Identify and Deal with It?

Signs of a Controlling Relationship

Now, how can you tell if you’re in one of these controlling relationships? Well, there’s some things to look for, like I said, it can be tricky:

  • Always Callin’ the Shots: They gotta have the last word on everything. Your opinion, it don’t matter much.
  • Jealousy Rears Its Ugly Head: They get mad if you even look at someone else. Accuse you of all sorts of things.
  • Keepin’ Tabs on You: Want to know where you are, who you’re with, all the time. Might even check your phone, your emails. It ain’t right, I tell ya.
  • Isolatin’ You From Folks: They don’t like your friends, your family. Try to keep you away from them. That way, you only got them to rely on.

It’s like they’re tryin’ to build a wall around you, keep everyone else out. Controlling, that’s what it is. Pure and simple. They always want things their way, no matter what. No give and take, just them givin’ orders.

This one time, I heard about a fella, always tellin’ his wife what to wear. Said her clothes were too flashy, too this, too that. Poor woman, she ended up just wearin’ the same old drab things every day. Lost her sparkle, she did. That’s what controlling does, it takes away your sparkle.

Controlling is Like a Weed

Now, controlling in a relationship is like a weed. Gotta pull it out by the roots, or it’ll just keep growin’ back, chokin’ the life outta everything. And it ain’t easy, pullin’ out a weed that’s got a good hold.

  • Gotta Speak Up: Hardest thing to do, but you gotta tell ’em how you feel. That you won’t be treated like that.
  • Set Your Boundaries: Like puttin’ up a fence around your property. You decide what’s okay and what ain’t.
  • Get Some Help: Sometimes, you can’t do it alone. Talk to a friend, a family member, someone you trust. They can help you see things clearer, be a help.

It ain’t gonna be easy, no sir. That controlling person, they ain’t gonna like it one bit. Might get mad, might try to make you feel bad. But you gotta be strong, like an old oak tree. Stand your ground. Don’t give up, keep fighting for yourself. It is important to deal with it.

Controlling in a Relationship: How to Identify and Deal with It?

If you’re the one doin’ the controlling, well, you gotta take a good hard look at yourself. Why you feel the need to control everything? Maybe you’re scared, insecure. Whatever it is, you gotta deal with it. ‘Cause controlling in a relationship, it ain’t healthy, it ain’t love. It’s just plain wrong. And it hurts people, real bad. Controlling is a bad thing, you need to stop it. You need to learn to let go some.

Remember, a good relationship, it’s like a good garden. Gotta have sunshine, rain, good soil. Both people gotta work at it, tend to it, help it grow. Can’t have one person hoggin’ all the water, all the sunshine. Gotta share, gotta compromise. That’s the secret, right there. Controlling will kill the relationship.

You need to give each other space, let the other person be who they are. Love ain’t about ownin’ someone, it’s about carin’ for ’em, respectin’ ’em. That’s the truth, from this old lady. You need to try and keep the relationship good, don’t be controlling.

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