Getting Started – My Approach
Alright, let’s talk about this. It’s something that, honestly, took practice and paying attention. It’s not just a mechanical thing, you gotta be present. For me, it always starts way before the actual act.
Setting the mood is key. Seriously. Dim lights, maybe some music, making sure she’s comfortable and relaxed. I always make sure we’re both clean and fresh, that’s just basic respect, you know? Then, it’s about the build-up. Kissing, touching, talking… letting her know she’s the focus. I don’t just dive right in.
The Main Part – What I Do
So, when things move down there, the first thing I do is just… explore gently. Using my hands first, soft touches around her thighs, her mons pubis. It helps build anticipation and lets me gauge her reaction.
Then, when I actually start using my mouth:
- Start slow and soft: I usually begin with gentle kisses on her inner thighs, working my way closer. Soft licks around the outer labia. It’s like testing the waters.
- Use the whole tongue: Not just the tip. I use the flat of my tongue for broader strokes up and down the vulva, maybe focusing a bit on the clitoral hood initially, not directly on the clitoris right away. That can be too intense at the start for some.
- Vary pressure and speed: This is super important. Monotony kills the mood. I switch it up – sometimes slow and teasing, sometimes faster and more firm. Paying attention to her breathing, her sounds, how her body moves… that tells me what’s working. If she pushes her hips towards me, that’s usually a good sign to keep going or maybe increase intensity.
- Focus on the clitoris (but not exclusively): Yeah, the clit is usually the main event. I’ll use the tip of my tongue for direct stimulation, maybe small circles or flicking motions. Sometimes gentle suction works wonders. But I don’t just park there. I continue to explore the whole area, the labia, the perineum. Sometimes moving away and coming back makes the direct stimulation feel even better.
- Using fingers too: Sometimes I bring my fingers into play simultaneously. Gently stimulating the clitoris with my tongue while using a finger or two to apply pressure around it, or even for shallow insertion if she’s into that and clearly aroused. Again, communication or just reading her body language is crucial here.
- Listen and watch: Seriously, this is maybe the most important part. Pay attention. Her little gasps, the way she arches her back, maybe she grabs your head (gently, hopefully!). These are the cues. If she says something, listen! Adjust based on what she likes. It’s a two-person thing.
Wrapping Up
Don’t just stop abruptly. When she orgasms, or when we decide to transition to something else, I slow down gradually. Maybe some soft kisses, gentle licks. I like to cuddle afterwards, talk, make sure she feels cared for. It’s about the whole experience, not just the physical act.
That’s pretty much my process, developed over time. It’s not a rigid script, more like a flexible framework based on being attentive and responsive. Every woman is different, so the key is always paying attention to the specific person you’re with.
