Oh, boy, let me tell ya, this topic is a bit spicy, ain’t it? Caught masturbating. Sounds like a real pickle. Everybody does it, but nobody likes to talk about it. It’s like picking your nose, you know? You do it, but you don’t want anyone to see.
When You Get Caught
Getting caught, that’s the worst part. Like finding a worm in your apple. It just ruins the whole thing. You’re there, minding your own business, and bam! Someone walks in. It’s like a horror movie, but the monster is your mom or your brother.
- First off, you freeze. Like a deer in headlights.
- Then, you try to hide it. Like sweeping dirt under the rug.
- But it’s too late. The damage is done.
They seen ya. You seen them. Now what? You could try to play it off. Say you were just scratching an itch. But who are you kidding? They know. You know. It’s like trying to hide a watermelon under your shirt. Just doesn’t work.
What to Do After
After you get caught masturbating, it’s awkward. Like wearing wet socks. You just want to get it over with. Best thing to do? Just own it. It’s like farting in public. You could pretend it wasn’t you, but why bother?
Just say, “Yep, that was me.” What are they gonna do? Ground you? You’re a grown-up. It’s like getting mad at a dog for licking its paws. It’s just what they do. Masturbating, it’s natural. Like breathing or eating. Your body wants what it wants.
I heard someone say once that masturbating can make you feel good. Like eating a piece of your favorite pie. And it can help you last longer in bed. Like a marathon runner training for the big race. So maybe it’s not so bad. Maybe it’s a good thing.
Don’t Be Ashamed
Some folks, they get all red in the face about this. They act like it’s the end of the world. But it ain’t. It’s just a part of life. Like taxes or getting old. You can’t avoid it, so you might as well accept it. Don’t be ashamed of caught masturbating. It’s like being ashamed of having a belly button. We all got one.
I remember a story, some kid got caught. Poor thing was mortified. Thought his life was over. But it wasn’t. He grew up, got married, had kids. Life went on. Like it always does. So don’t let it get you down. It’s just a little bump in the road.
Young folks today, they worry too much. They think every little thing is a big deal. But it ain’t. Life’s too short to worry about stuff like this. Like my old grandma used to say, “This too shall pass.” And she was right. It always does.
Why We Do It
Why do we do it, though? That’s a good question. I reckon it’s like scratching an itch. Sometimes, you just gotta do it. Your body tells you to, and you listen. It’s like when your stomach growls, and you gotta eat. You don’t think about it, you just do it.
And it feels good, don’t it? Like a good stretch in the morning. Or a cold drink on a hot day. It’s a little pleasure in life. And who doesn’t like a little pleasure? It’s like finding a dollar in your old jeans. A little surprise that makes you smile. Caught masturbating, well, that’s not the best, but the act itself? Not so bad.
It’s Normal
So, don’t let anyone tell you it’s wrong. It’s as normal as apple pie. As long as you ain’t hurting nobody, what’s the harm? It’s your body, your business. Like what you eat for breakfast. Nobody’s business but your own. And if you get caught masturbating? Hold your head up high. Don’t let them shame you. They probably do it too, they just don’t want to admit it.
I’ve seen a lot in my life. Wars, famines, you name it. And I’ll tell you what, this ain’t nothing. It’s a blip on the radar. A drop in the bucket. In the grand scheme of things, it don’t amount to a hill of beans. So don’t sweat the small stuff. And masturbating? That’s small stuff. Real small.
So, next time you feel the urge, go for it. Just make sure you lock the door. And if you get caught? Just remember what I said. It’s normal. It’s natural. And it ain’t the end of the world. Like a rainy day, it’ll pass. And the sun will come out again. You’ll see.
