So last month my period showed up three days early outta nowhere. Got me thinking – could getting busy with my boyfriend have something to do with this mess? Started digging around online but found nothing but contradictory garbage. Hell with it, I decided to track my own cycles and sex life for two months straight.
What I Actually Did
First thing Monday morning, I grabbed my period tracking app and a ratty notebook. Marked down every time we had sex – big red X’s like some kinda calendar criminal. Took my temperature every single morning before even peeing – almost smashed the thermometer twice when I was half asleep. Wrote down everything: how bad cramps were, if my boobs felt sore, even how many bathroom trips I made. Total pain in the ass but had to know.
Week 1 was chill – period just ended, felt normal. Week 2? Horny as hell (sorry not sorry). Had sex like four times that week. Boom – next morning cramps started early. Not full period, just this annoying spotting. Thought my app broke. Checked the notebook – saw all those X’s clustered together.
- Day 12: Sex morning & night
- Day 13: Woke up with lower back pain
- Day 14: Light pink when wiping
- Day 15: Actual period starts (2 days early!)
Same crap happened next month! Thought maybe coincidence, so I avoided sex entirely around that time. No early cramps, no surprises, period showed up exactly when predicted.
What Actually Happens
Turns out two big things mess with your cycle: orgasms and sperm. When you climax, those uterus contractions can basically shove your lining out faster. Like shaking a ketchup bottle. And semen? That stuff’s packed with hormones called prostaglandins that trigger cramps. Your body goes into panic mode thinking “Gotta evacuate NOW!”
Final kicker – your hormones go bananas during ovulation. Sex during that time makes your cycle go “surprise! let’s speedrun this period!” Total junk science articles had me believing the opposite.
So yeah, bodies do whatever the hell they want. But at least now I keep emergency tampons everywhere – car glovebox, boyfriend’s nightstand, even shoved tissue paper in my coat pockets. Lesson learned.
