Alright folks, buckle up. Yesterday, I set out to test that big relationship question: can you actually make it work without any dang trust? Like, zero faith in your partner? Saw a ton of videos debating it, decided to try it myself. Real messy experiment, but someone’s gotta do it, right?
Starting Point: Killing the Trust
First step? Had to dismantle whatever trust existed. Me and my partner been solid for years, but this needed drastic action. Tuesday night, I flat out told him: “Starting now, I don’t trust you. At all. About anything.” His face? Priceless. Confused pizza slice halfway to his mouth. “Is this about me forgetting the trash last week?” Nope. Explained the experiment. He sighed that deep “here we go again” sigh. Setup complete.
The Experiment: Living the Paranoia
Wednesday morning, the real work began. Every interaction became a potential lie:
- Stopped sharing anything personal. When he asked how my work meeting went? “Fine.” Deadpan. No details.
- Demanded receipts for everything. “Going to Mike’s? Cool. Send a pic with Mike’s dog. At 8 PM sharp.” Dog pic arrived. Mike looked confused in the background.
- Checked phone logs. Not sneakily – dramatically. Picked up his phone while he was brushing his teeth. “Hmm… checking this ‘Mom’ contact. Could be code.”
- Interpreted kindness as manipulation. He made coffee? “Why’s he being nice? Probably hiding something.” Left the coffee untouched. Cold brew of suspicion.
Breaking Point: The Fake Emergency
Thursday, I needed maximum stress. Faked a work crisis. Told him, “Got called out of town last minute. Emergency client thing. Back late.” Then hid in the spare room closet. Spent three hours listening. He vacuumed. Called his sister about their mom’s cat. Watched a documentary about sharks. Absolutely zero shady behavior. Felt ridiculous crouched behind winter coats.
The Fallout: When Suspicion Wins
By Friday, the damage was obvious:
- Exhaustion hit hard. My brain hurt from over-analyzing every blink. Felt like a hamster wheel of doubt.
- Communication became interrogation. “Did you actually like that movie?” “Are you sure it was just one taco?”
- He started pulling away. That look? Like I was a ticking bomb. Stopped initiating hugs. Conversations became short, clipped updates.
The Ugly Truth
Sat down Saturday morning, coffee in hand, no tricks this time. Looked him dead in the eye. “This experiment sucks.” We both laughed. Then got real:
- Without trust, you’re just roommates with surveillance. Every kindness questioned, every silence a conspiracy.
- Love needs vulnerability. Building walls kills connection. Period. You can’t hug someone through bulletproof glass.
- Verification isn’t partnership. Constantly policing breeds resentment. From both sides.
The Real Bottom Line? That “love without faith” idea? Total fantasy. It’s like driving a car with no wheels – you ain’t going anywhere. Without that basic trust foundation? You’re not building a relationship. You’re running a paranoid, one-person police state. And nobody signs up for that long-term. Lesson painful. Lesson learned.
