Okay, so things with my husband, Mark, had gotten… stale. You know, that comfortable silence that’s less “comfortable” and more “we’ve run out of things to talk about.” We love each other, no doubt, but the spark? It felt like a flickering candle in a hurricane. So, I decided to do something about it. No grand gestures, just small, consistent efforts. I figured, why not document it? Maybe it’ll help someone else, or maybe future-me will need a reminder.
Step 1: Ditch the Damn Phones
First thing I tackled was our phone addiction. Seriously, we were like two zombies scrolling through social media every night. So, I instituted a “no phones after 9 PM” rule. At first, it was awkward. We fidgeted, looked at each other like, “Now what?” But then, we started talking. Really talking. About our day, about silly things, about our dreams. It was like rediscovering each other.
Step 2: Date Night – But Make It Actually a Date
We had date nights, sure, but they’d become routine. Dinner, movie, home. So, I started planning dates that were a little… different. One week we went to a pottery class (hilarious, by the way – Mark’s pot looked like a melted ice cream cone). Another week, we packed a picnic and went stargazing. The key was doing something that forced us to interact and laugh together.
- Pottery Class – Messy, fun, and we have some… unique… creations to show for it.
- Stargazing Picnic – Romantic and peaceful, a great way to reconnect.
- Tried a new restaurant that was out of comfort zone.
Step 3: Little Love Notes (and Compliments!)
This one’s cheesy, but it works. I started leaving little notes for Mark. In his lunch bag, on the bathroom mirror, stuck to his laptop. Just little things like “You’re my favorite person” or “You make the best coffee.” It sounds small, but it made a difference. And I made a conscious effort to compliment him more. Not just “You look nice,” but “I really appreciate how hard you work” or “You always know how to make me laugh.”
Step 4: Shared Hobby Time
We used to have shared hobbies, but life got in the way. So, we picked something we both enjoyed – hiking – and made it a regular thing. Every Saturday morning, we hit the trails. It’s exercise, it’s fresh air, and it’s quality time together. We talk, we laugh, we sweat. It’s perfect.
The Results (So Far)
It’s not a fairy-tale ending (yet!), but things are definitely better. The silence isn’t so awkward anymore. We’re laughing more. We’re connecting more. It’s like we rekindled a pilot light, and now we’re working on building a bonfire. It takes effort, consistent effort, but it’s worth it. Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint, and sometimes you need to stop and change your shoes, you know? The journey is not over and we will keep doing things together.
