Okay so last week me and my girl got into this huge blowout. Seriously, loud yelling, slamming doors, the whole messy drama. Felt like crap after, like the air was just sucked outta the room. Honestly, we were both just steaming silently for like, hours. Awkward silence city. We both wanted to fix it, but neither knew how to start without making it worse again. Just stuck.
So I Thought Screw It, Let’s Try Some Quotes
Remembered that bookmarked article “Best Quotes on Fighting in a Relationship to Heal and Make Up Quickly!“. Figured it couldn’t hurt worse than staring at separate walls, right?
Here’s what I actually did:
- Crawled out of my grumpy cave first. Literally sat down on the sofa where she was sulking with her phone. Didn’t try to hug or anything yet, just… plonked myself nearby. Got a major side-eye.
- Used a quote almost word-for-word. Took a deep breath and mumbled something like, “Okay, look… ‘The argument is never about the dishes or the trash. It’s about feeling unheard and unappreciated’. You’re ticked about the trash, but I know it’s really about me zoning out again last night when you were talking, right?” Copied that one straight.
Didn’t magically fix it. She sighed this big heavy sigh and said, “Yeah! Exactly! You weren’t even there!” But guess what? She actually lowered her phone.
- Next quote in action. I remembered another one about not trying to “win.” So I said, “Alright. I get it. And ‘Winning an argument means losing the relationship’. I don’t wanna win, I just want us not to feel like crap anymore.” Cheesy? Maybe. But she nodded, like tiny little bit.
- Opened the door for her. Used another one about making a safe space. Said, “‘Healing starts when someone makes the first move to lower their shield’. Dumb shield metaphor, but… I put down my grump shield or whatever. What do you need right now? Just to vent? Help taking the trash out? Silent co-existence?”
She chose “vent.” I shut my mouth, tried REALLY hard not to interrupt or get defensive (sooo difficult!), and just nodded while she told me again why it sucked feeling ignored. I physically bit my tongue once.
- Final quote payoff for action. After she finished and looked a bit less tense, I stole another line. “‘Apologies are good, changed behavior is better’. I’m sorry I zoned out. For real. What if we try that stupid ‘no phones after dinner’ rule again?”
The Actual Outcome Was Weird
It didn’t feel like some magical fairy tale ending where everything is perfect. More like… defusing a bomb. Slowly. Carefully. Still felt raw.
But the quotes? They were like cheat codes. Gave me the exact words when my brain was fried from anger and sadness. They stopped me from saying the stupid defensive crap I usually blurt out that just makes things nuclear.
Honestly, the biggest win? We were talking calmly after maybe 45 minutes, and finally took the stupid trash out together. Laughed a little about how ridiculous we both looked earlier, yelling about garbage. Not instantly healed, but definitely back on speaking terms without that heavy dread. Way faster than our usual multi-day silent wars where even the cat avoids us.
Would I feel dumb using cheesy quotes again? Probably. Will I use them again next stupid fight? Absolutely. Worked better than just stewing.
