So yesterday was rough. My wife and I had that stupid fight again – you know, the one where you end up snapping about who left dishes in the sink, but really it’s about feeling ignored? Yeah, that one. We were both stewing in separate rooms after dinner, and I thought: This ain’t working. Gotta try something different.
Finding the Exercises
Grabbed my laptop right there on the couch, crumbs still on my shirt, and typed “simple ways married couples talk better” into Google. Skipped all the fancy psychology articles. Scrolled past the ads. Found this blog post about Beginner marriage exercises to improve communication. It promised “easy stuff, takes minutes.” Skeptical, but desperate.
Giving It a Shot
Walked into the bedroom where she was scrolling Instagram. Cleared my throat. “Uh… wanna try a dumb exercise?” Got the eye roll, then the sigh. But she put her phone down. Progress.
Chose the first exercise from the list:
- Sit facing each other. Knees almost touching.
- One person talks for exactly 2 minutes about their day. Not a rant, just facts.
- The other just listens. No fixing. No reacting. Just… eyes on them.
- Switch.
It felt so stupid at first. Like we were playing robot humans. I went first. Fumbled over boring stuff: “Work sucked… traffic was bad… coffee machine broke…” Stumbled hard when her face didn’t react. Hit the 2-minute mark on my phone timer. Stopped talking like someone cut my strings.
Then her turn. She talked about laundry, her annoying coworker Jason, the weird creak our bedroom door makes. I bit my tongue so hard wanting to “fix” the door thing. Just stared at her forehead. Focused on her voice, not my responses. When the timer beeped? Felt like an hour passed.
The Actual Hard Part
Step two was harder. After both talk, you say one single thing: “Thanks for sharing that.” No “Oh me too!” or “Here’s how to fix Jason.” Just… thanks.
So damn awkward. Said it like I was ordering takeout. She mumbled it back. We sat there for like five seconds, knees knocking, before cracking up. Laughed at ourselves for trying this cheesy thing.
Why It Sorta Worked
Tried it again this morning over coffee. Less giggling this time. Realized something important:
- Forced us to actually stop moving and stop multitasking. No phones, no dishes, no TV noise.
- Those 2 minutes? Felt endless when you’re used to interrupting each other after 20 seconds.
- Holding back solutions? So unnatural, but made me see she didn’t always want me to fix things. Sometimes she just wanted me to hear it.
Did we solve deep issues? Nah. But we actually finished breakfast without any snark. That’s something. Gonna keep trying this for a week. Feels less like work and more like… untangling headphones gently. Slowly.
