Okay, so, like, last week I totally messed up. Big time. It was one of those situations where I knew I was being a jerk in the moment, but I just…kept going. You know how it is?
Anyway, long story short, I hurt my partner’s feelings. Badly. And I knew I had to do something about it. Just saying “sorry” wasn’t gonna cut it this time. So, I did some digging, some soul-searching, and came up with a plan. Here’s how it went down:
- First, I took a breath and actually listened. I mean, really listened. No interrupting, no defending myself, just letting her explain exactly why she was upset. This was probably the hardest part ’cause my gut reaction was to jump in and explain my side, but I bit my tongue.
- Then, I acknowledged her feelings. Not just saying “I understand,” but like, actually reflecting back what she said. Like, “Okay, so you’re feeling like I didn’t value your opinion, and that made you feel like I wasn’t respecting you.” Something like that. Showed her I was paying attention.
- Next, the apology. But not just a simple “sorry.” I made it specific. “I’m really sorry that I dismissed your idea during the meeting. That was wrong of me, and I can see how that made you feel unheard and unimportant.” Specificity is key, people!
- After that, I took responsibility. No blaming it on stress, or being tired, or anything else. Just a straight-up, “I messed up, and I’m owning it.”
- Then came the action part. I asked, “What can I do to make this better?” And I was prepared to do whatever she asked (within reason, obviously). In this case, she wanted me to be more mindful of her contributions in the future and to actively solicit her input.
- And finally, the follow-through. This is the ongoing part. It’s not enough to apologize and then go back to your old ways. I’ve been making a conscious effort to listen more, ask for her opinions, and generally be a more supportive partner.
It wasn’t easy. It took swallowing my pride, admitting I was wrong (which is never fun), and actually making an effort to change. But you know what? It worked. She felt heard, respected, and loved. And honestly, I felt better too. It’s amazing how much better things are when you just admit you screwed up and try to fix it.
So, yeah, that’s my story. Hopefully, it’ll help someone else out there who’s trying to mend fences. Remember, it’s not just about saying sorry, it’s about showing you mean it.
