Alright, let me share something from way back. It wasn’t like a lightning bolt moment, more like a slow dawning, you know? It involves this colleague I had, let’s call her Sarah. We started on the same project, pretty intense stuff, long hours sometimes.
Early Days and Little Things
At first, it was just normal work stuff. We’d grab coffee, talk about the project. But then I started noticing little shifts. It wasn’t anything huge, just… persistent?
- Always Around: Suddenly, whenever I went to the break room, she’d often appear a minute later. Or if I mentioned needing a specific file, she’d “happen” to have it ready or offer to find it immediately, even if it wasn’t her task.
- The Laugh Track: I’m not exactly a comedian, but suddenly my dumbest jokes were getting full-on laughs. Like, really enthusiastic laughs. A bit too enthusiastic, looking back.
- Mirroring: This one was subtle. I’d lean back, she’d lean back. I’d grab my mug, she’d reach for hers. Didn’t click right away, but it happened a lot.
The Questions and Attention
Then came the questions. Not just work questions. It started drifting into personal territory. Not invasive, but definitely curious.
“What did you do this weekend?” became a standard Monday opener, followed by lots of follow-up questions. She remembered tiny details I’d mentioned weeks before, like the name of my cat or a specific frustration I’d had with a piece of software. That level of recall felt… focused.
She’d also find reasons to message me after work hours. Sometimes it was disguised as a work question that could easily wait till morning, other times it was sharing a link to something she thought I’d find interesting based on a conversation we had days ago. The effort level felt consistently high.
Awkwardness and Compliments
There was also this layer of… nervousness sometimes? Especially if we were alone waiting for an elevator or something. A bit of fidgeting, maybe avoiding direct eye contact for a second too long, or sometimes holding it a bit too intensely. It was inconsistent, which made it confusing at the time.

And the compliments started rolling in. Not just “good job on that report,” but things about my shirt, or how I handled a difficult client, or even just “you seem really focused today.” They felt a little more personal than typical workplace praise.
Putting it Together
Honestly, I was a bit dense about it for a while. I just thought she was really friendly, maybe a bit eager. It wasn’t until another colleague pulled me aside and said, “Dude, Sarah’s totally got a crush on you,” that the pieces clicked into place. Looking back, all those little actions, the consistent attention, the remembering small details, the slightly awkward energy – it painted a pretty clear picture.
It wasn’t one big sign, but a whole collection of small, consistent behaviors. That sustained effort and focus, that’s often the giveaway, I think. It’s more than just being nice; it’s got this underlying intensity to it. That was my experience, anyway. Just observing the patterns over time made it obvious in hindsight.