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Help my bf yells at me and I dont know why?

LunaShadow by LunaShadow
December 29, 2024
in Emotional Relationships
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Okay, so, let me tell you about this thing that’s been going on with my boyfriend. It’s been a real headache, honestly. We’ve been together for a while now, and things were pretty good at first, you know? But lately, it’s like he’s a different person. He just yells. About everything.

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Help my bf yells at me and I dont know why?

At first, I tried to let it slide. I got it. We all get frustrated sometimes, right? So I will try to calm him down and just hope he will stop the yelling. I tried to change my clothes just to hope he can calm down and stop the yelling. But no. It didn’t stop him. He just kept yelling and yelling, and I was like, “What the hell?” I thought, “Maybe he’s just stressed from work,” or something. I really tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. You know, make excuses for him in my head. I didn’t want to believe that my boyfriend, the guy I’m supposed to trust, was just being a jerk.

But it kept happening. Over and over again. He’d yell at me for the smallest things. Like, if I left a dish in the sink or if I didn’t fold the laundry right away. It was insane! I started to feel like I was walking on eggshells all the time. I was constantly worried about what might set him off next. It’s like, I couldn’t even relax in my own home anymore. My therapist told me that this is a sign of toxic relationship, which really scared me. I’m still thinking about what she said.

So, I decided I needed to do something. I couldn’t just keep living like this. It wasn’t fair to me, and honestly, it wasn’t good for him either. I realized I needed to take a step back and figure out what I really wanted. I just picked a time when we were both relatively calm. No point in trying to have a serious conversation when he’s already worked up, right? It took a few tries, I won’t lie. There were times when I just wanted to scream back at him, but I managed to keep my cool. And then, I just laid it all out for him.

I told him how his yelling made me feel. How it was affecting me, how it was hurting our relationship. I explained that I felt scared and anxious, and that I couldn’t keep living in a constant state of fear. I also pointed out that his behavior wasn’t normal, and that it wasn’t fair to either of us.

And you know what? He actually listened. He didn’t interrupt, he didn’t make excuses. He just listened. It was like, for the first time, he actually heard me. And then, he apologized. He said he didn’t realize how bad it had gotten. He admitted he had some anger issues he needed to work on, and he promised he would try to do better.

Help my bf yells at me and I dont know why?

I won’t say everything’s perfect now. It’s not. We still have our moments, and he still slips up sometimes. But it’s different now. He’s actually trying. He’s making an effort to control his anger, and he’s more aware of how his words affect me. And I’m trying too. I’m learning to be more patient, and to communicate my feelings more clearly. We’re working on it, together.

It’s still a work in progress, but I’m hopeful. I believe that people can change, and I believe that our relationship is worth fighting for. We’ll see what happens, but for now, I’m just glad we’re finally moving in the right direction. It hasn’t been easy, but I think we’re both learning a lot about ourselves and about each other. And that’s something, right?

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