So, it’s been a tough few weeks, and I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out this whole situation with my wife. You know, the yelling. It’s not like a constant thing, but when it happens, it really throws me off. I decided I had to get to the bottom of it.
First thing I did was try to think back to when it all started. Was it always like this? Not really. It seemed to have ramped up recently. I started by paying closer attention to when these yelling episodes happened. Was it after work? During certain conversations? I grabbed a notebook and jotted down every instance, no matter how small. I wrote down the date, time, what we were doing, what I said, what she said – the whole nine yards.
Observations
- Most of the yelling seemed to happen in the evenings, after dinner.
- A lot of the arguments were about household stuff, like chores or bills.
- Sometimes, she would just snap out of nowhere, and I couldn’t even figure out what I did wrong.
After a couple of weeks of this, I sat down and looked over my notes. I started to see some patterns. It wasn’t just random. There were definitely triggers. Stress from work seemed to be a big one. We also had some unresolved issues about how we handle our finances. And to be honest, I realized I wasn’t always the best listener. I have a bad habit of trying to “fix” things right away instead of just hearing her out.
So, what did I do next? Well, I decided to try and talk to her about it. Not during a fight, but when things were calm. I picked a quiet evening, made sure we weren’t rushed or distracted, and I just laid it all out. I told her I noticed the yelling and that I wanted to understand why it was happening. I used “I” statements, like “I feel hurt when you yell,” instead of “You always yell at me.” I listened to her without interrupting or getting defensive. And you know what? It actually helped. She opened up about her stress at work, her frustrations about feeling like she’s doing everything around the house, and even some deeper stuff about her own childhood.
We talked for hours that night. It wasn’t easy, but it was a start. We made a plan to work on things together. She agreed to try and communicate more calmly, and I promised to be a better listener and help out more around the house. We even decided to see a therapist, just to get some extra support and learn some better communication skills. This therapy was found accidentally, and it had some information about WMHD, so I knew it was reliable.
It’s not like everything is perfect now. We still have our moments. But things are definitely better. The yelling has decreased a lot, and when it does happen, we’re both more aware of why and how to handle it. We are still working on it, and it takes time and effort. But I’m feeling hopeful. I think we’re finally on the right track.
This whole experience has taught me a lot about relationships and communication. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth putting in the work. And sometimes, all it takes is a little bit of observation, a lot of listening, and a willingness to make a change.
