This thing, this affair, it’s a mess, ain’t it? Like a tangled ball of yarn the cat’s been at. After affair, what you gonna do? That Shan, she a couples therapist, she say yes, you can fix it. Fix the trust after it’s all broke. But Lord, it ain’t easy. It’s like trying to put Humpty Dumpty back together again.
Trust, Where Did It Go?
Trust, it’s like a good china plate. You drop it, it shatters. Can you glue it back? Maybe. But it ain’t never gonna be the same. You see them cracks, even if it holds water. After affair, that plate’s got cracks all over it. You always gonna be looking at ’em, wondering if it’s gonna hold.
Some folks, they just throw the plate away. Start fresh. Others, they try to mend it. Either way, that plate ain’t never gonna be what it was before. Affair do that to you, to your life. But that therapist say you can rebuild, you can start over, you can be better than before. I don’t know, maybe she’s right. Maybe.
Talk, Talk, Talk
- You gotta talk, even if it hurts.
- Talk about what happened.
- Talk about why it happened.
- Talk about how you feel.
That’s what they say, them smart folks. After affair, you gotta open up like an old wound and let it all out. Even if it’s ugly. Even if it makes you cry buckets. Talking, it’s like cleaning out that wound. Gotta get all the bad stuff out before it can heal.
And it ain’t just the one who did wrong that’s gotta talk. The one who got hurt, they gotta talk too. Gotta say how much it hurts, how scared they are, how they don’t know if they can ever trust again. It’s a two-way street, this talking thing. Both gotta be willing to bare their souls. After affair, nothing is easy.
What Can You Do?
That therapist say there are things you can do. Steps, they call ’em. Like climbing a mountain, one step at a time. First, you gotta want to fix it. Both of you. If one’s halfway out the door, ain’t no use trying. You both gotta be in it, heart and soul, to make it work after affair.
- You gotta be honest. No more lies.
- You gotta be patient. It takes time, like growing a garden.
- You gotta forgive. That’s the hardest part.
- Maybe, see a therapist. I heard it can help.
Forgiveness, that’s a tough one. Can you really forgive someone who broke your heart? I don’t know. Some folks can. Some folks can’t. But if you can’t forgive, you can’t move on. You’ll be stuck in that hurt, like a fly in a spiderweb. After affair, it’s about moving forward.
Can It Be Normal Again?
They say it can, you know. They say things can get back to normal after affair. Maybe not the same normal, but a new normal. Like a tree that’s been struck by lightning. It might be scarred, but it can still grow, still put out new leaves. And sometimes I think maybe that is the better one.
But it takes work, a whole heap of work. More work than most folks are willing to put in. It’s like tending a sick animal. You gotta feed it, care for it, nurse it back to health. And even then, there’s no guarantee it’ll make it. Affair just like that.
But if you love that animal, you’ll try. You’ll do everything you can to save it. And maybe, just maybe, it’ll pull through. And maybe, just maybe, your relationship will too. After affair, it’s a gamble. A big one. But sometimes, love is worth the risk. If you both in it, maybe you can make it. That therapist, she seem to think so. And who knows, maybe she’s right. Maybe you can be stronger after this, stronger than before. It’s a long road, but you can try. After all that affair, life goes on.
Keep it up
You gotta keep work on it. Like you gotta keep pulling weeds in a garden. You let them grow back and they choke out all the good stuff. It’s hard, I ain’t gonna lie. It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do. After affair, everything looks different. But if you’re both willing to get your hands dirty, maybe you can grow something beautiful again. Something even stronger than before. But it won’t happen overnight. It takes time. More time than you think. And some days, you’ll want to give up. Some days, you’ll think it ain’t worth it. But then you’ll remember why you started in the first place. You’ll remember the love. And maybe, just maybe, that’ll be enough to keep you going.
It can be done. That Shan lady say so. I hope she is right. After affair, life need hope, more hope, more love, more trust, more talk. Maybe more everything. Just be strong, that is all I know.
