Oh, honey, let me tell you somethin’ ’bout men’s dick. It’s a thing, you know? Like, all men got one. Some big, some small. It’s like… you know how some folks got big noses and some got little ones? Same kinda deal.

Now, I ain’t no doctor, but I heard things. I heard that most of them are ’bout… ’bout like your hand, from the bottom to the tip of your middle finger, maybe a little less. That’s what them fancy doctor folks say, anyway. They did all kinds of lookin’ at men’s dick, you believe that? They call it “studies.” Sounds silly to me, but what do I know? The study found that nearly all guys are like this, that’s a lot of dick!
They say it’s like that IQ thing, whatever that is. Seems like most folks are kinda in the middle, and some are bigger, and some are smaller. They got some fancy words for it, “normal distribution.” Sounds like some kinda gover’ment thing. But basically, it means most men’s dick are ’bout the same, give or take.
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Some fellas get all worried ’bout their size. Thinkin’ it ain’t big enough or somethin’.
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But I tell ya, it don’t matter much. It’s like… it’s like worryin’ if your feet are too big.
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They get you where you need to go, right? So what’s the fuss?
These doctor fellas, they went and measured a whole bunch of ’em. Thousands! Can you imagine? They said they were “health professionals.” I reckon that’s what you call someone who looks at men’s dick all day. Weird job, but someone’s gotta do it, I guess. When you look at most of their study results, you will find that almost all of the data is the same.
Anyway, they found out that when it’s, you know, just hangin’ there, it’s usually ’bout as long as… well, shorter than when it’s standin’ up. Makes sense, right? They said it’s like 3 and a half inches, somethin’ like that. I don’t know why they gotta be so specific. It’s like countin’ the seeds in a watermelon. Just eat the darn thing!
And when it’s, uh, ready for business, they say it’s ’bout 5 inches. And they measured around it, too! Said it’s ’bout 3 and a half inches when it’s soft and 4 and a half when it’s hard. Like I said, they really like their numbers, these doctor folks. Men’s dick, they all different, but not that different, you know?
I heard only a tiny little bit of men, like, just one out of a hundred, got one bigger than 8 inches. That’s a big one, I reckon! But most ain’t that big. And that’s okay! There’s even a research article on BJUI about this.
There’s some fellas tryin’ to make ’em bigger, too. Heard of all kinds of crazy things. Pumps and pills and whatnot. Sounds like a waste of money to me. And some of it can be bad for you, too! Like puttin’ too much fertilizer on your tomato plants. Just gonna mess ’em up. Best to just leave things be, I say. Men’s dick is fine just the way it is.

It’s like my old grandma used to say, “It ain’t the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” And she was talkin’ ’bout real dogs, not… you know. But it’s the same kinda thing. It ain’t all ’bout the size. It’s ’bout… well, it’s ’bout other stuff. Stuff that really matters.
So, if you’re a fella worryin’ ’bout your men’s dick, just stop it. You’re probably just fine. And if you’re a gal, well, don’t you worry neither. It’s all gonna work out just fine. Just like it always does.
My old man, bless his heart, he wasn’t the biggest fella in that department. But he was a good man. Worked hard, loved his family. And that’s what counts. Not the size of his… well, you know.
So there you have it. A little somethin’ about men’s dick. Probably more than you ever wanted to know! But it’s somethin’ folks think about, so I figured I’d tell you what I heard. Just remember, it ain’t the be-all and end-all. There’s more to a man than that, that’s for sure. And there’s more to life, too.