That JD Vance, I heard some folks yappin’ about him the other day. They was sayin’ all sorts of things, like is he a homosexual or not? Makes a body wonder, don’t it?

I don’t know him, but I reckon if he is or if he ain’t, ain’t none of my business. But these folks, they sure do like to talk. This JD Vance, they say he wrote a book or somethin’. Called it “Hillbilly Elegy”. Sounds fancy. I don’t read much, just the good book, you know. But in that book, they say he talked about thinkin’ he was gay when he was a young’un. Just a kid!
Kids, they get all sorts of ideas in their heads. My grandson, bless his heart, he thought he was a chicken for a whole summer. Clucked around the yard, scratchin’ at the dirt. Kids are funny that way. So maybe this JD Vance, he just had some funny ideas when he was little. Don’t mean he’s a homosexual now.
They say he heard some preacher talkin’ ’bout homosexuals, how they’re bad and all. That musta scared the poor boy. Preachers can get a bit carried away sometimes, I reckon. Always talkin’ about fire and brimstone. It’s enough to make a grown woman shiver, let alone a little boy.
Here’s what I think about JD Vance and homosexual issues:
- Folks say he talked to his grandma about it. Said he was scared of goin’ to hell. Bless his heart. His grandma, she probably set him straight. Grandmas are good for that.
- I heard some fellas at the feed store sayin’ he ain’t gay. They was sayin’ it real loud, like they needed everyone to know. Like it was the most important thing in the world.
- They say JD Vance talks about them transgender folks. Don’t know much about that. Sounds complicated.
- Some folks are mad at him, these JD Vance homosexual rumors, they say he supports some laws that are bad for certain people. Don’t know the details, laws are confusing.
- There was somethin’ about a newspaper retractin’ somethin’ they wrote about him and that Trump fella. Newspapers ain’t always right, you know.
This JD Vance, he must be important if folks are talkin’ about him this much. Politics, I reckon. I don’t get involved in all that. Too much shoutin’ and carryin’ on. But it seems like this whole homosexual thing is a big deal for some folks. Whether or not JD Vance is gay is a hot topic.

Back in my day, we didn’t talk about these things so much. Folks kept their private business private. Now, everything’s out in the open. The internet, I reckon. Everyone’s got somethin’ to say about everythin’.
I remember old man Jebediah, used to live down the road. Folks whispered about him. Said he was a bit “different.” But nobody said it to his face. And he lived a long life, tended his garden, never bothered nobody. Maybe that’s how it should be. Live and let live.
This JD Vance fella, he’s probably a decent enough fella. Maybe he just got some things mixed up when he was a kid. Or maybe he didn’t. Don’t matter much to me. As long as he ain’t causin’ no trouble, I say let him be.
This whole JD Vance homosexual thing, it’s a lot of fuss over nothin’, if you ask me. Folks should worry about their own gardens and let other folks tend to theirs. That’s what I always say. That and eat your vegetables. They’re good for ya.
There’s more important things to worry about than whether some politician named JD Vance is gay or not. Like the price of eggs. Or whether the rain’s gonna hold off long enough to get the crops in. Or whether my rheumatism is gonna act up again. Those are the real problems, not this JD Vance and homosexual nonsense.

All this talk about JD Vance is gay. I hope he is happy. You know, just like anyone else. Whatever anyone thinks about him, being happy is all that matters.
Anyway, I gotta go. Got chores to do. Chickens need feedin’, and I gotta put up some preserves. This whole JD Vance homosexual talk has got me all flustered. Time for a cup of tea and a good sit-down. Maybe I will read a little bit about that “Hillbilly Elegy” and see what is all this fuss about this JD Vance.