Where to fuck in public, you ask? Well, lemme tell you, it ain’t like pickin’ strawberries in the field. Gotta be sneaky, gotta be quick, like a weasel in a henhouse. Lots of folks gettin’ that itch these days, wanna do it all over the place, not just under the covers like we used to.
Now, I ain’t sayin’ I done it all. But I seen a thing or two in my time. Heard a thing or two too, from the young’uns. They got all sorts of ideas. They talk about public bathrooms. Nasty, I say! But hey, if you’re in a hurry, I reckon it’s a place. Just make sure nobody’s around, and for the love of Pete, clean up after yourself!
- Night clubs, they say. All that loud music and folks bumpin’ into each other. Sounds like a good way to get stepped on, if you ask me. But I guess if you’re young and full of vinegar, maybe it works. Too many mixed drinks, though. Makes people do silly things.
- Then there’s the beach. Sand gets everywhere, you know? Everywhere! But I suppose if you’re out there at night, under the stars… could be kinda romantic. Just watch out for them crabs! They pinch! And don’t go too far out in the water, neither. Dangerous!
- Some folks talk about doin’ it on public transportation. Lord have mercy. On the bus? The train? What’s this world comin’ to? People got no shame these days, I tell ya. Too crowded for my taste.
They got these fancy lists now, top 20 places and such. Top 20! Back in my day, we had the barn, the back of the truck… and that was plenty! These young folks and their “getting it on”, that’s what they call it. Fancy words for a simple thing. Don’t need all these fancy lists to find a good spot. Just gotta use your head.
And this foreplay business, they talk about that too. Gettin’ all worked up before the main event. Sounds like a lot of fuss to me. But I guess if you gotta do it in public, you gotta make it quick. So maybe that’s what the foreplay is for. Speedin’ things up.
Now, here’s some advice from an old-timer. If you’re gonna do this, be respectful. Don’t go scarin’ folks. Find a quiet spot, away from prying eyes. And don’t do it where kids might see. Gotta think about the children.
- Keep it down. Nobody wants to hear all that moanin’ and groanin’. Keep it to yourself.
- Clean up. Don’t leave a mess. That’s just rude.
- Don’t get caught! That’s the most important part. If you get caught, you’re gonna have a whole heap of trouble. And nobody wants that.
And for the love of all that’s holy, talk to your partner first! Don’t just spring it on ’em. Make sure they’re okay with it. Some folks ain’t into that kind of thing. And that’s okay.
