Well, now, you wanna know how to take a dick pic? Lord have mercy, the things I hear about these days. Back in my day, we didn’t have these fancy phones, let alone take pictures of… well, you know. But alright, I’ll tell you what I’ve heard from them young folks. Just remember, you gotta be careful with these things. A picture is worth a thousand words, they say, and a picture of your… thing… well, that could be worth a whole lot more trouble if you ain’t careful.
First thing’s first, you gotta have a good phone, I reckon. One of them new ones with a good camera. You can’t be takin’ a dick pic with one of them old flip phones. Nobody gonna see nothin’ but a blurry mess. So, make sure your camera is good and your phone is all charged up. Ain’t nothin’ worse than your phone dyin’ right when you’re about to… you know.
Then you gotta think about the lightin’. You don’t want it too dark, or nobody will see nothin’. And you don’t want it too bright, either, or it’ll all be washed out. Natural light is best, I hear. Like from a window or somethin’. But don’t go takin’ no dick pics outside! Somebody might see you! Keep it indoors, for heaven’s sake.
Next, you gotta think about the angle. I don’t know much about this, but I hear you don’t want to just take a picture straight on. Supposed to be kinda from the side, or from the top lookin’ down. You gotta experiment a little, I guess. Find what looks best. Don’t get it all close up on your junk or it will be wired. And for the love of Pete, make sure you’re… clean. Nobody wants to see a dirty… thing.
- Good phone, good camera
- Good lightin’, not too dark, not too bright
- Find a good angle
- Make sure you’re clean!
Now, I hear some folks
