Well, let me tell ya, this “parents only love me from a distance” thing, it ain’t somethin’ I ever thought I’d be jawin’ about. But here we are. It’s like this, see? Some folks, they just ain’t built for the close-up stuff, especially when it comes to their own kids. Maybe they mean well, maybe they don’t, but the end result’s the same: you feel like you’re lookin’ at ’em through a dusty window, always a little bit out of reach.
Now, I ain’t no fancy doctor or nothin’, but I’ve seen my share of things. And one thing I know for sure is that kids, they need love. Not just the “here’s some money, go buy yourself somethin’” kind of love, but the real deal, the hugs and the “I’m proud of you” kind. When you don’t get that, when it feels like your folks are holdin’ you at arm’s length, it leaves a mark. A big ol’ mark, right smack dab on your heart.
- You start wonderin’ what’s wrong with you. Am I not good enough? you ask yourself.
- You try harder, bendin’ over backwards to get their attention, their approval. But it’s like tryin’ to fill a bucket with a hole in the bottom.
- And then, the hurt starts creepin’ in. It’s a slow burn, like a fire in the belly that just won’t go out.
It ain’t right, it ain’t fair, but it happens. And when it does, you gotta figure out how to deal with it. You can’t just sit around waitin’ for things to change, ’cause chances are, they won’t. You gotta take matters into your own hands.
First thing you gotta do is find yourself some folks who do care. Friends, teachers, maybe even a neighbor down the road. People who see you for who you are and love you for it. These folks, they can be your lifeline, your rock when things get tough. They can give you that pat on the back, that word of encouragement, that you ain’t gettin’ at home.
Then, you gotta find somethin’ you’re good at, somethin’ that makes you feel good about yourself. Maybe it’s paintin’, maybe it’s singin’, maybe it’s just takin’ care of a stray cat. It don’t matter what it is, as long as it gives you a sense of purpose, a reason to get up in the mornin’. When you’re busy doin’ things you love, you ain’t got so much time to dwell on the things you’re missin’.
And finally, you gotta set some boundaries. This here’s the hardest part, I tell ya. It means tellin’ your folks, “Look, this ain’t workin’ for me. I need some space.” It means maybe not seein’ ’em as much, maybe not callin’ ’em as often. It means puttin’ your own needs first, even if it hurts their feelin’s. But sometimes, that’s what you gotta do to protect yourself.
Now, I know what you’re thinkin’. “But they’re my parents! I’m supposed to love ’em no matter what!” And that’s true, to a point. But love don’t mean you gotta be a doormat. Love don’t mean you gotta let people walk all over you. Sometimes, the most lovin’ thing you can do is to create some distance, to give yourself room to breathe, to grow. It’s like they say, “absense makes the heart grow fonder,” maybe a little distance is what everyone needs. Some folks, you know, they just show love better from far away. Maybe sendin’ a card or somethin’, that’s their way. Not everyone’s a hugger, not everyone’s a talker. And that’s okay. You gotta learn to accept people for who they are, even if they ain’t who you want ’em to be.
It ain’t easy, this “lovin’ from a distance” thing. It’s a messy, complicated business. But it can be done. And sometimes, it’s the only way to find peace, to find happiness, to find your own way in this world.
Some folks might’ve had it real tough. No hugs, no nothin’. Just cold. Maybe that’s why they’re the way they are. Maybe they never learned how to show love up close. And some folks maybe never got the cuddles, or the “I love you’s” when they was growin’ up. Maybe their own folks kept ’em at arm’s length. It’s like a chain reaction, passed down from one generation to the next. But that don’t mean you gotta be the same way. You can break the chain. You can choose to love different, to love better.
And remember this, you ain’t alone. There’s a whole lotta folks out there who know exactly what you’re goin’ through. So don’t be afraid to reach out, to share your story, to ask for help. There’s strength in numbers, and there’s healin’ in connection. It might take time, it might take effort, but you can find your way. You can learn to live, to love, even if your parents only love you from a distance.
And if you find yourself constantly disagreein’ with your folks, sometimes the best thing is just to put some space between you. Like movin’ far away. Maybe then, when you do see each other, things will be more peaceful. It’s like how absence makes the heart grow fonder. Sometimes a little distance is what a family needs.
If things get real bad, maybe talkin’ to someone who knows about these things, like a counselor or somethin’, can help you sort through all the mess. They can help you understand why things are the way they are and how to deal with it all. Just remember, lookin’ after yourself is the most important thing. You gotta be your own best friend in this world.
