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Funny Sexual Pick Up Lines: Guaranteed to Get a Laugh

StarrySky by StarrySky
December 10, 2024
in Lifestyle and Sexuality
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Alright, alright, lemme tell ya somethin’ ’bout them… uh… “sexual pick up lines,” they call ’em. I ain’t no expert, mind you, but I’ve seen a thing or two in my days.

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Funny Sexual Pick Up Lines: Guaranteed to Get a Laugh

What are these “pick up lines” anyway? Well, from what I gather, they’re just words folks use to, you know, get someone’s attention. Like, “Hey there, good lookin’,” but fancier, I guess. Some are funny, some are… well, some just make you wanna roll your eyes so far back they get stuck.

Now, these “sexual” ones, they’re a whole different kettle of fish. They ain’t just about sayin’ hello. They’re about… well, you know… lettin’ someone know you’re interested in more than just a chat about the weather. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, mind you. Folks gotta find their happiness somehow.

  • Funny ones: Some folks try to be funny. Like, “Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you.” Heard that one from my grandson. Silly, ain’t it? But hey, if it makes someone smile, I guess it works. Though, I reckon some folks might just think you’re a bit touched in the head.
  • Cheesy ones: Then there’s the cheesy ones. Oh Lord, they’re somethin’ else. “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.” Now, who comes up with this stuff? Makes you wanna gag sometimes, but I hear some folks actually like that kinda thing. To each their own, I always say. I remember this one time, this fella tried somethin’ like that on me… I just told him to go chase chickens. That shut him up real quick.
  • Straightforward ones: And then you got the ones that just get right to the point. No beatin’ around the bush with these folks. “You’re lookin’ mighty fine tonight,” or somethin’ like that. Simple, direct. I guess that works for some too. But you gotta be careful with those, you know? Some folks might take it the wrong way. You don’t wanna scare nobody off. Unless that’s what you’re aimin’ for, I suppose.

But here’s the thing, no matter what kinda line you use, it all comes down to bein’ respectful. See, you can’t just go around sayin’ whatever you want to whoever you want. That ain’t right. You gotta treat folks with kindness. And a smile goes a long way, let me tell ya. A genuine smile can melt even the coldest heart.

I remember this one time, this fella, he was tryin’ to get my attention. He didn’t use no fancy words, no silly lines. He just looked me in the eye and said, “You have the prettiest smile I’ve ever seen.” Now, that was somethin’. It wasn’t about bein’ clever or funny. It was about bein’ sincere. That’s what really matters, you know?

So, if you’re thinkin’ about usin’ one of these “sexual pick up lines,” just remember to be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you ain’t. And always, always be respectful. If someone ain’t interested, back off. There’s plenty of fish in the sea, as they say. Though, I always preferred chickens myself. Easier to catch, and they don’t talk back as much.

Funny Sexual Pick Up Lines: Guaranteed to Get a Laugh

And for goodness sake, don’t be creepy! Nobody likes a creepy fella. Just be natural, be kind, and if it’s meant to be, it’ll be. And if it ain’t, well, move on. Life’s too short to be chasin’ after folks who don’t wanna be caught. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go feed my chickens. They’re probably wonderin’ where I am.

One more thing, a little somethin’ my old man used to tell me “Be a good listener, sometimes all it takes is for you to hear them out to make ‘em feel something”. So when you use these lines, don’t just spit ‘em out and expect miracles, listen to what they have to say and work from there. If they don’t like it, well at least you tried.

Tags: [Pick Up Lines, Flirting, Dating, Relationships, Funny, Cheesy, Advice, Communication]

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