So last week I got kinda stupid with my Fleshlight, ran outta lube late at night, and figured hell, lotion’s slippery too right? Big mistake. Here’s exactly what went down.
The Dumb Idea Hits Me
Sitting there, looking at the bottle of cheap drugstore lotion near my bed. Thought it looked basically like lube, felt slick enough. Didn’t bother checking ingredients. Just grabbed the Fleshlight, squeezed a big glob onto the opening, and went for it.
Things Get Weird… Fast
Felt okay at first, kinda slick but not quite right. After maybe five minutes? Noticed it wasn’t gliding smooth anymore. Felt sticky. Pulled out, looked inside. Saw this white, gummy crap building up inside the canal. Like… glue almost? Freaked me out. Poked it with my finger, and the material felt weird – kinda swollen in spots, other patches felt brittle. Panic started.
The Gross Cleanup & Damage Report
Tried washing it under warm water. That white crap wouldn’t rinse off easy. Took forever scrubbing carefully with my fingers. Felt like trying to peel dried glue. After it dried fully? Disaster:
- That gummy spot was still there, felt rough and stiff now.
- Parts around it looked duller, less shiny like before.
- Felt slightly swollen still, texture just ruined in that spot.
My expensive toy felt compromised. Kicked myself hard.
What Actually Messed It Up? My Investigation
Grabbed that stupid lotion bottle. Read the ingredients properly this time. Saw things like:
- Perfumes/Fragrances (smelled flowery? Yup)
- Oils (mineral oil, jojoba oil… greasy stuff)
- Weird thickeners and weird chemical names I didn’t recognize
Googled around (duh, should’ve done this FIRST). Learned Fleshlights are made of TPE – super sensitive stuff. Turns out:
- Perfumes and oils EAT AWAY at TPE, make it break down. Hence the weird sticky mess.
- Many chemicals in lotions react badly with the material, causing swelling or brittleness.
Basically, using body lotion was like rubbing poison on it. Idiotic.
So What Works? What’s Safe?
After wrecking mine, bought a new one and learned my lesson. Real lubes only! Here’s what actually works without damaging the thing:
- WATER-BASED ONLY. Read the damn bottle! MUST say water-based clearly.
- Super simple ingredient lists – fewer weird chemicals, better chance it’s safe.
- Brands I actually trust now: Fleshwash (obvious), Sliquid H2O, or any boring unscented/unflavored pharmacy water-based lube. Keep it boring = keep it safe.
Seriously, do NOT skip checking the ingredients. Water-based. That’s the only safe answer. Everything else? Risking nasty damage or worse.
Learn from my stupid expensive mistake. Your Fleshlight will thank you, and your wallet too. Stick to the safe stuff!
