The Tinder Disaster That Started It All
Okay, so picture this. I matched with this guy on Tinder – profile looked great, pics with dogs, traveled, seemed fun. We chatted for like a week, vibes seemed decent, decided to grab coffee. First red flag? He showed up 20 minutes late, didn’t even text a heads-up. Just walked in like “Heyyy, traffic sucked.” Already kinda annoyed, but whatever, right?
We sit down. He immediately starts talking… but only about his amazing job, his expensive car, his perfect gym routine. Didn’t ask a single thing about me. Seriously. Then, halfway through my latte, he pulls out his phone, starts scrolling Instagram. Loudly. Laughing at videos while I’m sitting there like ๐๏ธ๐๐๏ธ. He finally looks up after five minutes? “So, you were saying?” Yeah, nah. That was my first major ICK moment. Felt gross, dismissed. Cut the date short, basically ran home.
Realizing I Kept Ignoring Little Things
Here’s the thing. That date sucked, but it wasn’t the first time little weird things happened. Looking back? Other dates had smaller versions:
- The constant phone checker: Guy who kept glancing at his screen every two minutes mid-convo.
- The zero interest dude: Couldn’t recall basic stuff Iโd told him days before.
- The rude-to-waitstaff guy: Made me cringe so hard ordering.
I always brushed it off. “Oh, he’s just nervous,” or “Maybe he had a bad day.” Big mistake. Those little moments? They were early ICK warnings flashing in my face. Totally ignored them until they turned into huge, date-ruining things. Spent months kinda dating duds because of it. Frustrating!
My “ICK Spotting” Experiment
Fed up after another lame date, I decided to try something different for the next month. Rule was simple: Pay sharp attention to the first few interactions. Online chat AND first date. Any tiny feeling of ick? Pause. Note it. Don’t excuse it.
Started easy. Next match? Chatted for days, seemed nice. Then he casually mentioned his “crazy ex” and how “all women are dramatic.” ICK spotted ๐ ๐ซ Immediately unmatched. Didn’t wait to see if he was “joking.” Felt powerful!
Went on another coffee date. Guy was charming online, funny. In person? He talked over me constantly. Didn’t let me finish a single sentence. Felt that familiar frustrated pit in my stomach. ICK โ Didn’t ignore it. No second date planned, told him straight up it wasn’t a match. He seemed shocked? Too bad. Saved myself another bad outing.
Started noticing patterns super fast:
- Negging or “playful” insults? ICK. Instant eject button.
- Overly braggy within 10 minutes? ICK. Hard pass.
- Bad listener or distracted? ICK. Waste of my time.
The Moment It Actually WORKED
Alright, best part. Went out with someone new last week. First date vibes were… genuinely easy. Conversation flowed BOTH ways. He asked thoughtful questions. Laughed properly. Seemed genuinely interested. Then? The waiter dropped a fork nearby. He didn’t jump, didn’t scowl, just calmly said “Happens!” and kept talking. Zero rudeness vibe. No ICK in sight? Felt weird, honestly! But good weird.
I realized paying attention to missing the bad stuff is just as important as spotting it. That date? Went great. Seeing him again. First time in ages where I didn’t have that sinking feeling halfway through. Huge win.
So, Did It Work?
Hell yeah. Spotting big ICKs early comes down to trusting those initial gut punches. That tiny shudder? That moment of irritation? Don’t swallow it. Pay attention right when it happens. Write it down if you gotta! Excuses are your enemy. Catching the small weirdness early saves you from the HUGE, time-wasting nonsense later. Fewer crappy dates. More peace of mind. Simple, but you gotta actually do it, not just think about it. Took a few tries to not feel mean, but protecting my energy? Totally worth it.
#datingadvice #datingredflags #relationshiptips #ickalert #trustyourgut
