Okay so here’s the deal—I used to be terrible at kissing. Like, really bad. My ex actually winced once and said, “Dude, relax your lips.” Ouch. That’s when I decided to actually practice instead of winging it. Here’s exactly how I fixed my train-wreck kisses.
Step 1: I Started With Research (Yes, Seriously)
Googled stuff like “why kissing feels weird” and watched YouTube clips—not the spicy ones, just tutorials where people explained lip pressure and pacing. Biggest lightbulb moment? Most women hate slobbery “dog drinking water” kisses. Noted.
Step 2: Mirror Practice Like a Weirdo
Stood in front of my bathroom mirror every morning for a week practicing:
- Lip softness: Pressed my fingertip hard, then super gentle—felt the difference? Gentle wins.
- Pacing: Counted “1-Mississippi-2-Mississippi” between small breaks instead of non-stop attack mode.
- No dead fish: Practiced slight movement—tiny circles, slow pulls. Felt awkward as hell.
Looked like I was having a stroke, but hey, progress.
Step 3: Recruited a Buddy (Kinda)
Asked my FWB Sarah to be my guinea pig—promised her tacos after each “session.” Kept it casual:
- First try: Focused ONLY on starting slow. No tongue for 10 seconds. She laughed but said “better.”
- Second try: Added soft lip tugs. Got feedback: “Less teeth clanking, nice.”
- Third try: Mixed in light tongue touches ONLY when she escalated. Boom—she leaned in longer.
The tacos were cheaper than therapy.
Step 4: Read Her Body Like a Manual
Realized kissing ain’t just about my mouth. Started paying attention to:
- Her breathing speed (fast = good; holding breath = back off)
- Hand placement (my hands on her waist? Chill. On her neck? Intensify.)
- Copying her rhythm (if she slows down, I slow down—no ego)
One girl actually sighed mid-kiss and whispered, “Damn, you’re good.” Mission accomplished.
Now? Zero complaints. Actually had women initiate kisses first lately. Key takeaway: Kissing’s a dialogue, not a monologue. Listen with your lips. Still mess up sometimes? Sure. But now I just grin and reset—softly.
