Alright, let me tell you how I actually got better at this whole thing. It wasn’t overnight, and screw those articles promising magic tricks.
Realizing I Sucked (The Starting Point)
Honestly? Feedback was… sparse. Mostly just awkward silences or kinda distracted vibes afterward. Felt like I was working hard but missing something. Watched a few videos online – total crap. Super staged, unrealistic angles, no real feel. Decided, screw it, gotta experiment myself.
The Trial and Error Mess
First thing: I tried going faster. Yeah, big mistake. Got told point blank: “It feels like I’m being attacked.” Ouch. Backed wayyyy off. Then tried focusing only on the head part, ignoring everything else. Another fail. Felt disconnected, clumsy.
Started paying attention to breathing sounds and body language way more. Noticing little twitches or shifts – signs something was maybe working? Or not working? Trial run:
- Tried lots of tongue movement: Circles, flicking, pressing flat. Some got positive hums.
Tried less suction: Instead of trying to vacuum-seal, more relaxed pressure. Much better response almost instantly.
Slowed waaaay down: Like, painfully slow at first. Found a rhythm where movements were deliberate, not frantic.
Used my hands WAY more: Seriously, it’s not just the mouth! Started using one hand on the shaft base applying pressure, gentle pulling while working the head. Game changer.
What Actually Started Working
After weeks of awkward practice:
- Pressure control matters: Too much suction sucks (pun intended). Less suction on the head itself, more varied tongue pressure under the head feels way better. Learned this purely from watching reactions.
- Rhythm is key: Found a slow, steady build-up rhythm worked best. Focused on consistent, predictable movements before changing anything. Speed comes later, if needed.
- Hands + mouth together: Using my mouth on the upper part, focusing on the head and frenulum with tongue flicks/flat pressure, while simultaneously using my hand in a slow twisting motion on the shaft base? Yeah. That combo consistently gets results.
- LISTEN and WATCH: Stopped guessing. If breathing picked up or hips moved, I’d hold that exact movement/pressure a bit longer. If things tensed up awkwardly, eased off.
The “Aha” Moment & Aftermath
Took maybe 10-12 genuinely awkward attempts? Felt forever. Then one time, focused purely on slow, steady pressure with my tongue under the head, combined with that twisting hand motion… whole body reaction was different. Loud, clear feedback without words. That finally clicked.
Since then, confidence is way up because I know what works consistently for my specific partner. It’s way less stressful. Turns out, less frantic energy and more deliberate, attentive focus is the actual secret. They won’t tell you that shit in Cosmo. Gotta just grind through the awkward phase yourself.
Now? It’s actually fun, not a chore. Took doing it badly a bunch of times to learn. Zero magic tricks. Just practice, paying attention, and ditching the online nonsense.
