Alright so I always see those videos about spotting if someone’s into ya, right? And I’m like, are these legit or total rubbish? Decided to test a bunch myself last Thursday. Grabbed my notebook, headed to the coffee shop downtown where Emily sometimes hangs – seemed like a good place.
Starting the “Tests”
First test was eye contact. Supposedly, if they hold your gaze longer than usual, that’s a sign. Saw Emily walk in around 2 PM. Ordered a latte, then made sure I “accidentally” caught her eye from across the room. We locked eyes for like… maybe 3 seconds? She gave a quick smile, then kinda ducked her head and fumbled with her phone. Not sure if awkward or shy.
Next up, proximity. The tips always say people subconsciously stand closer if they like you. Right after she grabbed her drink, I casually strolled to the sugar station near her. Instead of staying put, she shuffled maybe a foot away while tearing open a sugar packet. Okay, point against.
Then I tried the body mirroring thing. I leaned on the counter. She stayed bolt upright. I crossed my arms. She hugged her bag tight. My coffee was getting cold, and this felt dumb.
The Texting Phase
Okay, plan B! Back home around dinner time, fired up Messenger. Needed the initiation test – does she text first? Waited. Friday morning… nothing. Saturday lunch… crickets. Fine, buckled Sunday and sent “Crazy weather today!”. Got back a “Yeah, totally wild!” about two hours later. Conversation died right there. Awesome.
Pulled out the big guns: the two-emoji reply test. Later Sunday sent “Saw the funniest dog near the park lol”. Reply? “Haha”. One single haha. Flat as cardboard. Dang it.
The Plot Twist Disaster
Figured maybe I needed to just ask a small favor. That old trick. Sent her “Hey, do you know if that coffee shop has oat milk? Can’t remember”. She replied quick! “Yup, they do!” Felt a tiny spark… until 5 minutes later: “Oh btw, any chance you know if Matt (my roommate) is seeing anyone? Asking for a friend LOL.”
Boom. Reality check. All my careful “tests” and meticulous note-taking? The awkward sugar-station shuffle? The intense stare-down? Complete waste of time. Turns out she was interested. Just not in me. She was buttering me up to get to Matt. Felt like a total goofball. Notes got crumpled and tossed.
Conclusion? Those “easy tests” felt more like reading tea leaves. Stressful, confusing, and totally misleading in the end. Real-life vibes and just asking someone out might save everyone a lot of overanalyzing headaches.
