I remember waking up one morning and thinking, man, something feels off in my marriage lately. My spouse had this way of turning every conversation back to them, like if I talked about my rough day at work, suddenly it was all about how tough their job was, way worse than mine. I just felt drained a lot, you know? So I grabbed my laptop and started searching “why does my partner always make it about themselves?”
Spotting the Signs
As I dug deeper, I found some articles listing red flags for narcissistic behavior. They seemed familiar, so I began jotting down things I’d seen over the past few months. Stuff like:
- They’d brush off my feelings during arguments, saying I was overreacting when I felt hurt.
- Always needing praise for small things, like cooking dinner, and getting super mad if I forgot to say thank you.
- Blaming others for mistakes—once, they messed up paying a bill but yelled at me for not reminding them.
That last one hit hard. I realized it wasn’t just my imagination; this had been building slowly.
Getting Outside Input
I knew I couldn’t handle it alone, so I reached out to a close friend. We met for coffee, and I spilled everything, using my notes. She listened quietly, then said, “Dude, that sounds like the narcissist stuff my sister dealt with.” Her pointing that out made me feel less crazy. After that, I looked up local support groups online—just typed in things like “marriage support for narcissism”—and found a few options. I called one, chickened out, then called back later and set up a chat.
Taking Action
At the group session, I shared my story. Hearing others say “been there” was a huge relief. They suggested simple steps to protect myself, like setting boundaries. For example, when my spouse started ranting about their work again, I’d say firmly, “I need a break from this convo—let’s talk later.” It took practice, but it helped. I also started journaling every night, noting good and bad moments. Over weeks, I saw patterns and felt stronger.
Now, it’s still a work in progress. My spouse hasn’t changed much, but I’m better at handling it and leaning on my support circle. I’m focusing on my own health too, like walking daily to clear my head. Honestly, just understanding those traits gave me back some control, and knowing help is out there keeps me going.
