Okay so a bunch of people asked me about lesbian dating stuff after my last video, like how not to mess it up? Honestly, I ain’t no expert, but I been dating women for 15 years and screwed up plenty times myself. Figured I’d share what actually worked for me, just plain stuff from my own life.
Starting Out: Figuring My Sht Out
Back when I first started dating girls? Total chaos. I treated it like chasing guys – pretending to be cooler than I was, playing hard to get. Disaster. Met this amazing girl Sarah through mutual friends. We vibed online for weeks, music taste clicked, both loved bad horror movies. First date? Coffee shop. Spilled my latte twice, talked non-stop about my ex. She ghosted me hard. Felt like crap.
Took me months to realize: I was performing, not being me. Was trying to fit some straight-girl dating rulebook that felt wrong. So I stopped. Next time I liked someone? Just… chilled. Told Lisa straight up on our walk in the park: “Look I’m kinda awkward on first dates but I think you’re really cute.” She laughed! We ended up talking for 4 hours straight. Lesson? Ditch the act. Authenticity builds way better tension than any “cool girl” front.
Communication Stuff That Actually Works
Biggest fights I ever had? Always about unspoken expectations. With my ex Jamie? We blew up because I assumed she knew I hated surprise parties. She thought I was ungrateful. Toxic mess. Learned: gotta spell things out, even the dumb stuff.
Now? My wife Maya and I do these things:
- “Check-in” chats: Every Sunday night, 10 minutes. “You good?” “Need anything from me?” Feels silly sometimes, but it stops little irritations blowing up.
- Text clarity: Instead of “fine” when I’m pissed? I type “I need space right now, talk tonight.” Saves so many text wars.
- Asking stupid questions: Like legit: “When I said that, did it land weird?” Or “Is wanting more PDA childish?” Turns out most worries exist only in my head.
Sounds simple? It is. But actually doing it? Game changer.
Dating Specifics – What Nobody Tells You
First time a girl kissed me? Full panic. Do I make a move? Wait for her? Told her I was nervous. She thought it was sweet. Took it slow. Few things I wish I knew earlier:
- Talk intention: With Amanda? After 3 great dates, I blurted: “Look I’m terrible at signals. Are we just hanging or feeling couple vibes?” She looked relieved. Said she was scared to ask too!
- Friendzone is usually fake: Stuck “just friends” with Sam for months? Turns out she thought I wasn’t into women romantically. Speak up!
- U-Haul culture: Don’t rush moving in after 2 months just ‘cause everyone jokes about it. Did it once. Cried unpacking boxes when we realized our habits clashed horribly.
Bottom line? All the “how to be smooth” advice feels hollow now. Just be awkward honestly. Listen hard. Clarify constantly. And pay for your own damn coffee on first dates – equality starts there.
