Okay folks, gather ’round. Today I wanted to share a recent bit of digging I did. Sounds straightforward on paper, right? “How can you tell if a girl is trans? Top 5 signs.” That’s what the video title promised anyway. Seemed like one of those quick explainer things people search for. So, I hit play.
Right off the bat, the guy listing these supposed signs rubbed me the wrong way. He was throwing out stuff like “Adam’s apple prominence,” “hand size differences,” “voice pitch being slightly lower sometimes,” “brow ridge structure,” and “how the shoulders are shaped.” He was presenting it all as this foolproof checklist, you know? Like spotting a rare bird or something. I started scribbling notes like I usually do for these deep dives.
Putting the “Signs” Under My Own Microscope
My process kicked in. I started scouring actual reputable medical websites and LGBTQ+ advocacy resources. Stuff backed by science and people who actually live this reality. And guess what? It was like hitting a brick wall trying to find anything validating those specific, supposedly “tell-tale” physical signs. Every credible source was screaming the opposite: relying on physical traits alone is inaccurate and deeply problematic.
Honestly, it felt like the video guy was just picking random things that might vary between people and calling them trans indicators. Most cis women have variations in those areas too! It was starting to feel less like useful information and more like spreading harmful stereotypes packaged as facts.
A Coffee Chat That Changed Everything
Then, something happened last Thursday. I met Alex, an old friend who transitioned a few years back. We grabbed coffee. After hearing about my frustrating research rabbit hole, she just leaned in and whispered, “Why does it matter how anyone tells? Seriously. What does knowing change about how you treat someone?”
That hit me hard. Like, really hard. I’d been focused on dissecting the bad info, maybe writing a takedown of the video’s points. But Alex flipped the whole script. She wasn’t offended by my research; she was saddened by the obsession behind it. She gently pointed out how trying to “spot” trans people is inherently othering, invasive, and just… unnecessary. Most trans folks just want to live their lives without being scrutinized or treated differently.
I bANGED my notebook shut. Right there. Done.
Where My “Research” Actually Led
- Lesson One: Those “5 Easy Signs” are pure garbage. They’re vague, often incorrect, based on harmful generalizations, and completely useless in real life.
- Lesson Two (The Big One): Trying to “detect” someone’s gender history is usually disrespectful and pointless. It feeds into invasive questions and makes people feel unsafe.
- Lesson Three: The only relevant sign for interacting with someone is the one they tell you. Their name, their pronouns – that’s the only info you need to treat them with basic human decency.
So yeah, my “top 5 signs” research project ended pretty quickly. It didn’t teach me how to spot anything except my own ingrained biases and how easily misleading content spreads. The real takeaway? Treat people based on who they present themselves to be, keep your assumptions to yourself, and focus on being kind. Simple as that. Way more valuable than any flawed checklist.
