Starting Out Totally Clueless
Alright so I figured, “How hard could this hand stuff be, right?” Famous last words, obviously. My partner had dropped enough hints, subtle as a brick to the face, that we needed to mix things up. Like most guys, I was basically fumbling in the dark hoping something clicked. Read a few articles online, skimmed some diagrams that looked more like advanced yoga poses than anything helpful. Decided tonight was the night to actually try and learn properly, take it slow, actually pay attention. Grabbed some decent lube – the cheap stuff stings, learned that the hard way last month – and took a deep breath.
The Actual Experiment
Started off trying to remember the basics everyone yaps about: pay attention to the clit. Yeah, obvious, but like… how? Just went for circles with my finger like the internet said. Too rough. Partner flinched. Whoops. Dialled it back. Way back. Like, barely touching it. That got a little sigh. Okay, progress? Then switched to side-to-side motion. Think rubbing something fragile off a dusty shelf. Gentle. Almost lazy. This felt… better? Seemed like it. Partner wasn’t grabbing my wrist to redirect me anymore, that was a win.
Now the tricky part: inside stuff. Everyone talks about the G-spot like it’s a magic button. Felt around up there. Felt like… wrinkled velvet? Weird description, I know. Applied some pressure, kinda pushing upwards. Got a “Hmm, different” noise. Not bad! Kept doing that while keeping up the external stuff with my thumb. Major challenge: coordination. My thumb wanted to move at the same speed as my fingers inside. Disaster. Felt like a toddler trying to rub his belly and pat his head. Partner actually giggled. Mortifying, but kinda funny. Figured out different rhythms – thumb doing slow circles while fingers inside did a sort of “come hither” thing. That got a proper gasp. Score one.
- Light is Key: Seriously, barely touch the clit at first. Like tickling a feather.
- Use More Lube Than You Think: Re-applied twice. Drippy mess? Maybe. Smooth sailing? Definitely.
- Don’t Copy Porn Moves: Fast and furious ain’t it. Found steady, medium pressure way more effective.
- Communication is Messy but Vital: Asked “Softer?” “Faster?” “Here? Or… here?”. Lots of awkward pauses, but beats silence and hoping.
The Moment and What Changed
Stuck with that combo – thumb circles getting a tiny bit firmer, inside fingers doing that curling motion steadily. Focused on not suddenly changing anything. Felt her hips pushing against my hand a little. That was the clue. Kept the exact. same. rhythm. Like trying to hold a beat while your leg falls asleep. Then bam! Tensing up, breathing crazy fast. Success! Or at least, something significant happened. Much bigger reaction than the usual sleepy sigh I usually got.
Lessons Learned (The Hard Way)
So yeah, it works, but it’s not instant magic. Takes way more patience and paying attention than I thought. My wrist feels like I’ve been kneading dough for hours. And honestly? I probably got lucky sticking to basics I read about. Most importantly, actually listening instead of just charging ahead made the biggest difference. Partner seemed way happier, less like she was just putting up with my nonsense. Still loads to figure out, but hey, tonight was a decent first proper try. Now to find some icy-hot for my cramping hand…
