So last Tuesday I was sipping coffee and scrolling through relationship advice threads when this phrase “pouring into someone” kept popping up. Sounded vague as heck – like emotional watering cans or something. Decided to test it myself this week.
Getting Started (Aka Making Awkward Moves)
First, I thought about WHO to pour into. Chose my neighbor Rita – sweet retired lady who waters her roses at 6am sharp. Planned small actions: actually remembering her grandkid’s birthday + showing physical presence.
Monday: Stopped rushing to my car, leaned on her fence. Verbally acknowledged her roses. Said: “Bet they smell better than my burnt toast!” Watched her face light up. Simple. Active. Did not multi-task.
Wednesday: Asked about her granddaughter’s art show – actually wrote “Crayon Picasso Exhibit” on my hand earlier. Rita practically glowed. Lesson? Retention is respect.
The Weird Comfort Zone Stretch
Friday was the real test. Rita mentioned back pain. Instead of just “Sorry to hear that,” I offered: “Gotta drop off soup later anyway – mind if I leave some on your porch?” Key move? No overpromising. Didn’t say “I’ll cook daily!” Just one container.
- Step 1: Chopped veggies poorly (still can’t julienne)
- Step 2: Burnt garlic. Twice.
- Step 3: Practiced saying “It’s probably awful” without fishing for compliments
Left it at her door with a sticky note: “Hope it’s edible. -The Burned Garlic Bandit”
Unscripted Moments That Mattered
Sunday, Rita appeared holding my empty container. Her eyes were watery. Not about the soup (soup was mid). She said: “No one just… shows up since George passed.”
Realized: Pouring isn’t grand gestures. It’s:
- Choosing her roses over being late once
- Writing names on your skin like a forgetful kid
- Gifting terrible soup without excuses
Cost me? 2 onions, 1 burnt pan. Return? Rita left perfect tomatoes from her garden on my step today. Still figuring this out, but presence > perfection. Try watering one human-rose this week. Maybe start small. Don’t burn the garlic.
